Bands that have jumped the shark the worst

[mab8485]

Join The Army happened.

When I saw this thread title, that album immediately came to mind. The first album along with D.R.I's 'Dirty rotten LP' are my 2 favourite punk albums. I bought 'join the army' expecting to love it but listened to it once. The vocals killed it. Mike sounds like he's not even trying.

[markD]

Testament when they released "Demonic". WTF was all that about? Is Chuck Billy still trying to be a cookie monster or has he gone back to his original (and perfectly good) vocal style.



Machine Head. "Burn My Eyes" was truly a classic, I was gutted when Vio-lence called it a day and then Robb Flynn resurfaces with a blinding effort. I bought it on the strength of his presence before I'd even heard it.

Then they started to get on my tits. They were like a nasty case of recurring genital warts (is there ever a "nice case"?), every fucking time I opened Kerrang, there he was, Mr Flynn, with a cock-ring through his nose, looking like a particularly malicious garden gnome with his trousers hanging round his arse.

They toured a couple of times, nice small venues, packed them, were undeniably very good, but then came back and supported Slayer, playing the same set again, albeit shorter. I was sick of the sight of them by then, so spent their set shouting for Saxon songs, which I gleefully noted was taken up by other more vocal members of the audience. (Apart from when they were singing "You fat bastard" at the drummer).

I think Donington was after that, which was appalling. Not their fault, Fatso had left/refused to come to England to do the festival, but their replacement drummer was playing at half-speed. Robb Flynn wore purple trousers (round his arse).
I threw bottles of piss.

Now, I'm a fair man, believe it or not, so when they released "The More Things Change", I was there the day it came out. I think there must have been a Special Edition extra thing with it "only available on the day of release". (Yep, I'm gullible too)

What a pile of shit. Amount of times played = 2, maybe 3 max, certainly no more than 4. If they had spent more time writing tunes than turning up at the Kerrang Awards and acting hard, or gurning from the pages of every magazine holding fucking skateboards or Kerry King's hand, that would have been time better served.

And still they kept turning up, more tours, festivals, Kerr-fucking-rang, Metal fucking Hammer, erm, Smash fucking Hits, always looking mean and moody (Robb Flynn doing his best "scaring herons away from the pond" face)

Finally, the first Ozzfest here in the UK, they are on the bill. Logan Mader was actually dressed as a pineapple, I shit you not. (erm, it's just possible he was in Ar-soulfly by then, I dunno. The whole gig was shite, apart from Sabbath, even though they played a short set)

That fucking prick Flynn even turned up on the most brilliant Live LP in a dog's age, "Another Lesson In Violence" by Exodus (with Paul Baloff), growling and sounding like he needed a fucking good hiding.

The next thing you know someone is incredulously telling me that MH have a load of rapping on their record!!! I lost interest in them waaay before that, but that sealed it for me.........

........then a couple of years ago, I'm at Donington, trying to see fucking Slayer (who were apparently stuck in a pie shop somewhere) when I spy Machine Head on the main stage, with some geezer who looks like he has a 12 year old's haircut and a pair of trousers that look like his Mum shrunk them in the wash. They don't do anything for me at all, I am totally unmoved by the performance, I recognise the odd track, but can't even raise the enthusiasm to fill a bottle of piss to throw.

THEN, long afterwards, I find out that the weird looking fucker is none other than Phil Demmel. I could have cried. Another hero from Vio-lence, released a fucking brilliant LP with his band Torque, then turning up as The Diddyman's sidekick. What a waste of talent.

Now together, they may have written and released something worthy of their pedigree, but for me, Machine Head have long jumped the shark, gaffed it, clunked it over the head, made sharkfin soup out of it, posed next the jaws looking hard, made sharkskin cowboy boots to keep RF's tootsies warm when he is fishing in someone's garden pond (with his trousers round his arse), and had the rest stuffed and displayed in a glass case, I'm just not interested!



Phew, glad I got that off my chest.

Ah yeah! The thing that really really made me realise what a prick Robb "Ronnie Corbett" Flynn was, came in an interview I read where he was saying he had been watching some riot in Oakland, when the rioters suddenly decided they didn't like the cut of his jib and chased him. Apparently he had to "pedal really hard on his BMX to get away". WTF????? BMX???? He's a grown man (well, he's an adult man, he didn't grow very much), just what was he thinking of? Hanging with "the kids"? Going to sit on a crock of gold somewhere?

Fucking idiot.

dude, normally i think you a bit of a douche, but this is a total, comedic piece of art!!!! almost as good as rip glitter's review of his RR1!!!! thanks for the tearful laughter. i am having a shitty day. i needed it. THANKS!!!! :ROTF:

[Snoogans]

The bald Joe Satriani.
When he had hair, he was a Guitar God. He was a bit weird-looking, but he dressed cool and made some of the finest guitar-madness albums of all time.
Then came the slaphead, and it all went a bit wrong. The hats. The bloody Digitech whammy pedal. It wasn't fun any more.

[Endrik]

don't forget the swimming glasses

[Axewielder]

don't forget the swimming glasses

...and the singing.

[toejam]

Aerosmith

+1. Their old stuff was great. When they made their comeback and did Done With Mirrors, I thought that was actually pretty good, like a cross between their old stuff and a little of the new stuff to come after that, but then they just pussed out completely.

[Endrik]

I'm a die hard fan of Aerosmith, they have made some of the greatest rock albums ever and they still are great live but when shit like Crying, Crazy and I Don't Wanna Miss My Fucking Balls started coming out... they lost the edge in my eyes... the last album of blues tunes is actually pretty cool though

[Bengal]

+1. Their old stuff was great. When they made their comeback and did Done With Mirrors, I thought that was actually pretty good, like a cross between their old stuff and a little of the new stuff to come after that, but then they just pussed out completely.

I would agree with this too. But it would be interesting to see how much money they made in the 70's vs. how much money they've made since their comeback. I'm sure the "new" Aerosmith makes much more bank than the "classic" Aerosmith. Not saying that's the test for good or not.

But there is something rather dangerous about the 70's Aerosmith. And something quite tame about the "new" Aerosmith.

[jacksoncsplayer]

But there is something rather dangerous about the 70's Aerosmith. And something quite tame about the "new" Aerosmith.

I agree dude, Old Aerosmith was kind of reckless and antisocial, and now they seem to posess a certain amount of integrity and business sense.

[blindmuddy]

Queensryche after Operation Mindcrime.

+1000000

[blindmuddy]

Metallica after Master of Puppets

VERY TRUE

Other huge ones are the already mentioned Aerosmith, It's funny cause there's an interview in one of the guitar magazines with Brad Whitford when they had done Bobo, where he basically talks about how they're sellouts and how much Steven Tyler (who looks more and more like Joan Rivers every day) cried that they were going to lose their place in pop music doing a record like that.

Genesis was another great exmple.

Then there was the Trevor Rabin era Yes

[blindmuddy]

How bout the Scorpions? One of the best bands of the 70s. Everything after Lovedrive is pretty weak.

[Bengal]

How bout the Scorpions? One of the best bands of the 70s. Everything after Lovedrive is pretty weak.

I liked them up through World Wide Live. I quit listening to them after that.

[Bengal]

Another Addition.

Celtic Frost with Cold Lake. The Frost goes glam? Cherry Orchards anyone?

I did like Monothiest.

[Rsmacker]

dude, normally i think you a bit of a douche

Exc-uuuuuse me? A "bit of a douche"? Hopefully the nice nozzle bit, not the bag.
Oh well, can't please 'em all. Glad it cheered your day though!

How about adding Whitesnake to the list. Or more accurately, Mr Coverdale.
Round about when he sacked all the old boys and replaced them with pretty boys.
I remember reading an interview with Mick Moody (I think), who apparently turned up at Wembley with his Vox AC30, as per usual, and David Coverdale said it just looked shit, made him cover it up with some 4x12s.
The next thing he knows, he's out of the band, replaced by someone with a shaggy perm and a wall of Marshalls, in tight leather trousers (Sykes I presume). Replacing someone because of Image is pretty lame.

Then, shacking up with Tawny Kittaen and letting her roll around on top of his Jaguar (watch the fucking paintwork you silly moo), before disappearing up his own arsehole with 8 words:

"Walking the fine line between Pagan and Christian".

Whaaaat? What is that supposed to mean?
What a bell-end. I know he only spoke the words, but he should have told Steve Vai to grow up and fuck off. I wonder if he got paid for it? I wonder how many takes there were?
He sounds just like Richard Burton. Just like Mr Burton when he was having a dump.
"Danny Boy calling Broadsword" indeed.

Oh, and he's almost as bad as Robert Kilroy-Silk on the Orange-ometer, just above Judith Chalmers and Dale Winton.



Actually, we can add Mr Vai to the list too. A most respected guitarist of incredible talent and dexterity, of mind-blowing musical intelligence and understanding that step above us mere mortals, that with practice and tuition, most could never equal in 3 lifetimes. In short, a genuine genius, who could have done anything with his talents.............so he decides to dress up like a fucking Christmas tree (you check out the clothes he was wearing), and play a triple-neck Spinal Tap guitar which rather than looking like a heart, actually looked like a gigantic comic nutsac. If there had been a few little pubes stuck on it, he would have been there.

He looked like Buster Gonad.

He's recovered a little in my estimation recently, doesn't quite seem so pretentious, but sod it, the damage is done.