"Casa del Fuggem" Part 2 of The Legacy

[Ben...]

Yeah, that's what my teacher said. We were only allowed 3 pages max. Doing a tree is gonna be tough. It would be tough to decide how specific to go on various things like the different genres.

[Endrik]

I'm gonna save my version of The Aristocrats I quickly made for "THE THREAD" here... I used a couple of your ideas Bill... sorry bro
I'm gonna improve it some day, I only had a couple of minutes... the thread is gone anyway too

A man walks into a talent agency and says to the agent "I have a fantastic act for you, I guarantee a lot of ticket sales"

The agent goes "well alright, show me what you got, but be quick I don't have all day"

The man says "Ok, it goes like this... I'm in this club with other members and it's a special Senior's Day so everyone brought their parents but the fathers didn't felt like being there so they went to a bar nearby to take some drinks and argue who were bigger cocksuckers, the ones on the right or the ones on the left. Anyway in the club the nice gentlemen discuss about arts and music but the conversation seems to get hot because two gentlemen can't agree on the issue if some other gentleman who goes by the name "Joe" is a fuck or not. One gets really outraged and grabs his opponents mother, punches her on the ground, he pulls his cock out and plays cock bongos on her cheeks. The opponent can't take it anymore, he shits all over the cock percussionist's mother, the mother is all brown because she is covered with shit and can't see because her eyes are also covered with shit. She stumbles around the room and screaming something. Some gentlemen in the club get angry and say that it's not right, the other gentlemen say that "you don't get the joke, she is doing a Ray Charles impression". The gentlemen get real angry at each other because they can't decide if it's a joke or not. Everything goes out of hand, they start punching each other, dickslapping the mothers. Everyone shits on each other until one of the member pulls the plug and the lights go out in the club.

The manager says "hmm interesting, so what's the act called"

The man goes "The JCF'ers!!!"

The manager "that's pretty nice but I already got something like this, they are called The E S P's"

[Cleveland Metal]

Doing a tree is gonna be tough.

Bill did a Vase before, a tree wouldn't be much of a stretch...

[Ben...]

Bill did a Vase before, a tree wouldn't be much of a stretch...

I meant family tree...

I remember that story now...

[Cygnus X1]

Hey Ben, It is!! I thought this would be a piece of cake. "Heavy Metal" who needs books on this subject ..right? NOT!!!

I'm still going crazy trying to squeezing 40 years of shit into a 6 page report.

Now I gotta help my kid with a Heavy Metal family tree.

I demand a full report, officer!
A great topic for civil debate.

[Strangletooth]

I demand a full report, officer!
A great topic for civil debate.

I actually agree big time! I'd love to see it. We've al been through the history of bands, genre's, etc etc, but this would certainly be cool!

Oh wait, was i sucking up there?

[Endrik]

6 pages is too little... my improvised reports for university which were made with a couple of hours were at least 7 or 8 pages.

the section about groupies would be at least 15 pages and stories like Ozzy snorting ants in his nose and other backstage wildness would require at least 20 pages

[Endrik]

Bill you MUST include your observation about really important cultural aspect you once mentioned... you said that when Ratt's debut album came out, women started to trim their pubic hair more and more from that day on

[Cleveland Metal]

And Tony Iommi begat VanHalen, VanHalen begat Rhoads and Malmsteen... And...

[Cleveland Metal]

Actually, after seeing some dismal books written by so called authorities, with appropriate editing, I'd think Bill might be able to write a pretty interesting book on that stuff.

[horns666]

Actually, after seeing some dismal books written by so called authorities, with appropriate editing, I'd think Bill might be able to write a pretty interesting book on that stuff.

I was thinking this as I was reading books including "The sounds of the beast". The're pretty good about who, what, where and when..but little else really. Alot of info is compiled from people from Rolling Stone and shit. Yeah, writers for Rolling Stone just love metal.

It's a pretty natural thing for me because I've been following alot of it since a kid. Then I became completely obssessed with it. Most metalheads I know haven't developed the whole fuggin' raging OCD thing about the subject. I have major OCD and metal and my guitar gave me something to put that focus, energy (and money) on. I think I would have gone crazy without guitar/metal.

what do I mean.."I think"..:think:

I actually go to thearay for OCD. It has gotten worse as I'm getting older. It really blows ass to be honest with you. I should give you some of the details of the rituals I must do before I can relax. Sometimes the rituals themselves consume my entire day, week and leave me little time to relax..I just can't let go.

When I was a cop..that really helped me get me get alot of that energy out. But going from 100MPH every day to a sudden stop ..well it really fucked me up. Its been years since I retired, but yet I cherish those days..even the bad ones. It feels like I never left.

[Endrik]

Highlights of metal:

PMRC - the best advertisement agency ever

Lowpoints of metal:

Venom live shows... ouch!

Little known facts about metal:

The actual time when Metallica got soft was when James Hetfield started saying "hey friends" instead of yelling "hey motherfuckers" on the stage

Gay facts about metal:

Most Judas Priest fans are males while Freddie Mercury wrote Bohemian Rhapsody on a piano while getting smoked by a hot CHICK!!!

The best man that metal never got:

Louis Armstrong, his voice was the evilest, the baddest, the most metal but he stuck to playing a trumpet

The popularity of metal:

Odin was allegedly even bigger than The Doors

Metal and economy:

Metal community is the biggest consumer of pig skin products

Femininity in metal:

Dried pussy juice in Zakk Wylde's beard

Sexism in metal:

Kerry King only does it in the doggy-style

[horns666]

Ahh very good observations E. I actually discuss the PMRC.

I actually have alot in common with Zakk and Kerry..

I must answer Jack's question. I am like his personal Ann Landers. But I must get this project together first. I will return.

[Cleveland Metal]

Thought you were at basketball w/vin?

[horns666]

Thought you were at basketball w/vin?

We're back..he's pissed. They got their asses handed to them hardcore.

Man, do they suck!!

shhhh don't tell him that...he already knows.