"Casa del Fuggem" Part 2 of The Legacy

[Ben...]

Well, I decided it was time to shave my head. My dad thought I was nuts but my mom thought it would be okay even though she thought I wouldn't go through with it. It looks a little rough right now but I just have to moisturize my scalp a bit.

Any tips for keeping it in check. I have an electric razor that seems to do an okay job of trimming it down. I might keep it like this for a month or two. Perhaps I'll post a picture later.

[Cleveland Metal]

Personally, I use a triple edge Gillette Razor in the shower with just ivory soap lather. I shave by feel and rarely cut myself. Bill will say to use some dollar store cheapies, but man, you'll slice yourself bad! He's just friggin nuts! haha...

Might take a bit for your head to get used to bein shaved. Might be good to get a lil sun to make it look a lil less white. Takes a bit to look right when you first start shaving.

[Ben...]

Yeah, I was thinking of getting one of those multi-bladed razors. Luckily, it's the middle of winter so I don't have a tan and my lack of hair fits in well. I gotta get my scalp conditioned a little better with some moisturizer stuff because it seems pretty dry. It's really weird feeling wind directly hit for the first time after having something covering my head my whole life. Thanks for the tips.

[horns666]

I first shaved my head in late '98, when it wasn't really fasionable for white guys. All the brothas shaved their heads, but not white guys, except for Yule and Telly. White dudes were bald, but always kept that silly, greasy looking fringe or tufts on their heads like fuggin' fransican monks. The first day was ALOT of ridicule until one of the female cops everyone wanted to fuck said it was "sexy'..they STFU real quick. Within a month half a dozen guys shaved their heads. That really opened the floodgates. Since, I was always a rebel at heart, I wanted to do something different. So then I grew a mohawk, and I kept that for about 4 to 5 years. Nobody else grew mohawks, so that was good.

My kid is pretty hairy already (genetic curse) and already started shaving. But he's such a puss about it. He doesn't want me to show him how. Fuggit, let him figure it out. He uses half a fuggin' can of shaving cream for the fuggin' fuzz on his face. So I showed him how I shave. I only buy generic, cheap ass twin blades at the dollar store. They're 10 for 88 cents, or sometimes a buck for a pack. Basically they're a dime each..good for me. I've been using these razors since the beginning. I HATE the expensive bullshit ones that pivot. I don't want a blade that moves while I'm trying to cut in my beard and shit. So I require a fixed blade like all the cheap twins. So anywhoo I want to show the kid how I shave. Even after 4 days growth, which is so fuggin' thick and coarse..I could sand doors. I proceeded to have at it..no water..no foam..nothing. I got to the point that I prefer to dry shave. I cut myself less doing this. Here is some practical reasons I discovered. The blades don't gum up allowing the stubble to come off the blades easier when you tap it on the sink. The main thing is to keep the blades clean and clear when dry or wet shaving. I tap the blade after every swipe or so, and I look at it to make sure it's clean. When I wet shave with foam, it's much easier to fuck up my goat because I can't see the edge of my beard because it's coverered with soapy shit. So that's why I like to dry shave. I have it down to science and I get a closer shave that lasts a little longer. It will burn a little more afterwards. But I just give my nog a quick rinse of cold water which soothes it as well as close the pores. Then I use ANY hand lotion, creams, even a little vasoline. I don't grease up my fuggin' head with gobs of vasoline. I just put a smudge on my fingertip (less than jerk off amount) , rub it in my hands, then I massage my head and it's all good. When I'm doing this, I can discover if I missed any spots because that will often happen when shavin the nog. Eveyone has a certain place where the razor is hard to get at. I have this little center divit, crease ..whatever on the back of my head. Make sure you pull you ears down and get that crease too..and also behind your ear. That is very common for people to miss. I know, I see it all the time..so it's pretty universal. Since my kid uses all my foam , I just got used to dry shaving with a cheap dollar store special..works for me. I don't get all raw, chafe, or whatever. I'll knick myself now and then, but I discovered I do that more whenever wet shaving for the above reason..the hair gums up underneath the blade. Sometimes it may look like the blades are clear, but they're not. They seem to get dull faster as well when wet shaving. I can NEVER use the same razor again whenver I wet shave, but most of the time I can use the same razor as a "touch" up if I dry shave. I mean if it's about 8-12 hours growth, I could hit again with the same razor.

OK, now this is MOST important..never..never..never use a brand new razor on your balls!!! Your sack is much too rippled with nooks and crannies. A fresh, new razor is not scrotum friendly whatsoever..you will fuck your shit up! Now a razor that is used once on your face or head is the optimal one to use on your sack. Once you shave the sack and around the base of the pud..it's much easier to dry shave a few days worth of sack growth. I like to do that in the bathroom sink. My balls flop over the edge of the victorian pedestal sink perfectly. I suck in my gut ( I have to) and I stretch my pud so the skin is taught, then I gently hit that with a freshly used, CLEAN dry razor. Once you clear the shaft of any brush, it's time to hit the balls. Now what I do is I grab my balls in my weak hand (left) and I gently squeeze so the side of my sack look like a puffer fish. Now it is much safer to GENTLY hit that area..then repeat on the other side. This is the only way I lowered the risk of knicking the sack. The sack bleeds like a motherfucker for some reason. Once I had to put one of my wife pantyliners in my briefs so I would not soil them with the sacrificial blood of the dark marsupial. You should get used to dry shaving at times. It's not bad. What if there's an emergency situation where you don't have any water or luxurious foam. Obama is president now..so this could happen at any given moment!!! Kinda like a Mad Max scenario but with wolly sacks. Everyone is worried about ammo, guns, riots, food and drink..what about your balls? do you want your balls to look like Ron Jeremy circa 1978 on judement day???!! I'm just not talkin' about shaving balls man..I'm a fuggin' prophet of the apocalypse!

Rev. B. Fuggums

EDIT: Once you shave your balls, dispose the razor in a biohazard container. Do NOT use that razor on your face!

With razors, you can go from your face to your balls but never visa versa.

[SEEGERMANY]

Not everyone has a good looking head once shaved. Personally, I had a damned good looking noggin. Like John said, use a good razor, mild soap, and take your time. I rarely nicked myself.

The two things that bothered me the most and took the longest to get used to was

1) Laying my head on a cold pillow

2) Raindrops hitting my head (you can't fathom how sensitive your noggin is once shaved!)

[SEEGERMANY]

Bill gave the perfect lesson in shaving the nutz! My second wife got me shaving The Boyz back in 1994 and I've never looked back. With a smooth, cleanly shaven nut sack, your wife, woman, lady friend, will WANT to spend more time in that region. That is unless you start talking about scales, modes, or other technical bullshit!

[VitaminG]

I use an electric razor on my head. If I bother to shave it daily, it's a 5 minute job. But I get lazy & only get to it twice a week, which makes it a lengthier process, what with stopping to clear the razor, etc. I've found the JCF is a good distraction while I do it.

[SEEGERMANY]

I've found the JCF is a good distraction while I do it.

Just don't read anything too technical or you'll slit your throat!

[atomic charvel guy]

if i shaved my head, or even just cut my hair I'd look like a dick with ears-lol
Thus the long feathers.
But a shorn scrotum and coiffed genital area makes your meatpipe look bigger.
Fine with me.

[Ben...]

Thanks for all the tips everyone.

I always have had really short hair so I don't really look all that different than I usually do. It was snowing yesterday and I was helping my dad haul our old bathtub out of the basement bathroom and we took it to the scrap metal place. I neglected to wear any type of hat so I had the cool surprise of snow landing on my head. School's gonna be fun next week. I have this week off so I can fine tune my lack of hair.

[atomic charvel guy]

this is the place for tips, and life advice Ben.
No other internet thread can match the wisdom and experience here.

[SEEGERMANY]

Ben, while you're fine tuning your noggin, go ahead and shave that sucker slick as a baby's ass. After rinsing your noggin off, wait about an hour and then take one drop of baby oil and rub it on your hands. Then wipe down the old chrome dome!

You'll be surprised how many chicks at your school are gonna want to touch your noggin! Uhm, the noggin above your shoulders!

[atomic charvel guy]

my advice is to do that to your fat smelly noodle instead-lol

[SEEGERMANY]

[horns666]

Haaa.. great advice!!! Ben, my son, listen to these guys. They're uncles..and we love you. Girls LOVE the shaved noggin..and they do wanna touch it!!

I'll be back. Until then, watch this for your viewing pleasure..why I don't know. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zege...eature=related

But this one is better (not kidding).. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fpQQ...eature=related