Trekking in Asia

[SlasZ]

I'm planning to go backpacking in Asia in September with some buddies, but I can only join them for about 3 weeks due to work, while they are out there for almost 3 months. We start in Hong Kong and work our way to Bangkok, but I'll be long gone before they arrive there.
We'll probably be in Vietnam when I have to leave, so I wonder if anyone has ever done this and how easy it is to get from anywhere in Vietnam to an airport by taxi, bus, train or ... ?
I won't be able to book in advance because I have no idea where I'll go, so does anyone know if it's easy to book flights there when you arrive at the airport?
This will be my first backpacking experience so if you have good tips, please share em

[Spivonious]

No advice to give except have fun! I wish I had 3 weeks and the cash to get over to Asia. Do any of you speak Mandarin? I imagine it's the common language over there, similar to French/German/English in Europe.

[SlasZ]

No advice to give except have fun! I wish I had 3 weeks and the cash to get over to Asia. Do any of you speak Mandarin? I imagine it's the common language over there, similar to French/German/English in Europe.

Thanks. One of em is learning Chinese at school and so I suppose she'll speak Mandarin. All I need to know is how to order a beer

[Rsmacker]

Come on now, you Germans know exactly how to speak those foreign types -

VERY SLOWLY AND VERY LOUDLY. In English.

Just like we Brits do.

[VitaminG]

and if they still don't understand, speak even LOUDER!

[shobet]

Try not to catch anything...

[shobet]

Oh and watch out for the good looking women with cocks.

Ting Tong rove you prenty rong time.

[VitaminG]

[horns666]

Take me with you..I wanna go to Bangkok. I could walk around and say "Bangkok..Bang cock..cock..bangcock..bang that cock!" to the local villagers.

[Endrik]

*watch out for chicks with cocks
*double the rubber
*do not drink the local tap water (full of god knows what bacterial... buy a lot of bottle water)
*do not order drinks with ice cubes... ice cubes are made of tap water... see above
*do not mess with drugs... if you get caught.... you'll be either dead or spend the rest of your life in prison.... those prisons over there are not nice
*before you go visit a doctor and get all kinds of shots wich will protect you from all kinds of viruses and diseases

[Rsmacker]

Take me with you..I wanna go to Bangkok. I could walk around and say "Bangkok..Bang cock..cock..bangcock..bang that cock!" to the local villagers.

I don't think the US really needs to get embroiled in another Far Eastern Jungle War, so you'd best stay at home Horns, you know how these things escalate.


SlasZ, don't "double the rubber", the friction will destroy both of them, you'll be banging away thinking it feels great, just like bareback, then will look down and see 2 little johnny rings round the base of your pego, all alone. Few things make you feel as pissed off (after you have shot your load, of course, you never notice nodder destruction till the vinegar strokes and by then you think "Ah fuck it, I'm in it now, might as well carry on". Afterwards, however.......remorse!)

Go down to your friendly neighbourhood chemist and ask to see a key performance indicator (KPI) for their prophylactic sheath range, along with a comparison chart of similar brands. Good chemists may actually have a knowledgable assistant who will discuss your requirements and make suitable suggestions, free of charge.

Personally, I would go for the heavy duty variety, as used by heemersexers, specially designed for dirtbox ploughing. They are fine for vaginal penetration, even when the vagina is actually a penis with the meat removed, turned inside out and stitched shut. (You wouldn't know the difference, apart from the fact you have to keep spitting on your dick to keep it nice and lubey-happy. Ahem......so I'm told.)

Take plenty of nodders, don't buy any out there, they will be recycled counterfeits, and probably too small for you (Oriental wee-wee velly tiny).
Also take some good spermicidal jelly, designed to eliminate all hostiles on the LZ and in the surrounding bush. I believe the makers of Napalm do a handy wallet-sized pack for today's man on the go.

Come back and show us the graphic photos of your weeping sores and blossoming genital mushroom culture.

Oh, and don't piss in any of the rivers. One of those fish that lodges itself in your Urethra Franklin might swim up there (I think they are called Pudfish), and the only way they can be removed is to slice up your bell-end. Evidently it ends up looking like a tulip, hence the condition Singapore Tulip (fucking hell, what a name for a band eh?). My Mummy told me about that one when I was a nipper. I have, to this day, never pissed in a river whilst in the Orient.


I did piss through the letterbox of the Orient River Chinese Takeaway at midnight when they wouldn't do me a bag of chips because "Flyers are turn off, evlything cold, go home, you no come back, you banned etc etc"

Lying fuckers, I know it takes hours for the fat to cool down. I think they were being arsey because they may have been able to detect that I had imbibed the odd sherbert that evening. And because they are racists, obviously.
Result : No chips, barred for life from takeaway, Guilty of Drunk & Disorderly, fine £60 + costs.
Calling the arresting rozzer a "feeler" and accusing him of trying to touch my winkie : charges dropped due to lack of evidence.

[SlasZ]

*slaps head*
Why did I post this here :ROTF:

[shobet]

Because you wanted truthful, honest opinions about your trip!
Plus we know why you're really going. I hope you find a nice bride, just make sure you don't get the entire family in the deal!

[SlasZ]

Because you wanted truthful, honest opinions about your trip!
Plus we know why you're really going. I hope you find a nice bride, just make sure you don't get the entire family in the deal!

You guys sound just like my mother!

[shobet]

I'd worry if she looked like me...