holy crap! what kind of spider is this?

[straycat]

I was laying face down watching Charlie and another uncle Ho about 20 feet away and looked to my left and six inches away was a huge scorpion looking right at me. The 60 gunner guy right next to me stuck his knife in it I felt better.

[Rsmacker]

Fucking hell, I don't care if pussy grows on trees in Australia, I'm never going there. It seems you have to check everything, everywhere, everytime you do anything in case a nasty bitey thing jumps out and gnashes you. I have to check the bog seat here in the UK just in case there's anything lurking, after seeing a program where redbacks would chomp on a pair of dangling plums whilst some poor sod has a dump. Necrotising nads is not my idea of fun.

As for that fucking wolf spider, didn't I read that it those fellas carried the necrotising fasciitis bacteria in dirt on their jaws? Not that it makes any difference, I would take a flamethrower to it.

I dunno what it is about spiders, I fucking hate the things, they make my skin crawl, but I can't help looking at them or finding out more about them. Perhaps I'm just mental.

Come on Straycat, tell us some stories less likely to make my hair stand on end. How about any nice cuddly snakes you saw out there?

[Thrust]

Charlie would have no problem finding me, I'd be the one screaming and crashing about in a panic. I would not be able to let a big (or little, come to that) spider crawl up my leg. I'd have to do a Rambo and take on the whole NVA single-handed rather than hide quietly while that happened.

I saw a program once where one of those fucking huge Australian things fell out from behind a car sun visor onto the driver's face. I have no idea what happened after that, my tea tray went flying as I jumped 7' into the air from a sitting position. No fucking way am I going to Oz, even if I could overcome the fear of VitG's Wolf Creek Theme Park, spiders are a deal breaker for me.

Oh, and Wilksy-baby, who says there aren't big spiders over here? (Not making any jokes about big hairy things full of venom, no, not me) What about the Chilean tarantula in some Sainsburys grapes last week? Apparently the petshop said they get calls every couple of months about little visitors in fruit consignments, and that's just one small part of the country.
I know I have been veeeeery careful opening the crates of Mangoes I've been getting in, just in case there's any hostiles inside.

Check this out, my little gimp, but have no fear, I'll hold you :

http://www.hartlepoolmail.co.uk/news/Tarantula-on-the-loose.4084405.jp

My dad was in Vietnam and he told me a story about his experience with a tarantula once. He was pulling guard duty one night and, being very tired, was sort of "dazed" (awake but kind of in a trance). Anyway, he felt something on his shoulder and thought it was the next guy coming to relieve him from his post. Well, it turned out to be a tarantula! He (like myself) hates spiders so he flips it off his shoulder and unloads a full magazine from his m-16. As one would imagine, everyone wakes up believing they are under attack and the whole platoon starts firing off into the jungle. :ROTF: Oh well, glad he made it back to the States without being shot (or bitten).

[Rsmacker]

I think that comes under the heading "Revealing your position to the enemy". :ROTF:

Can't say I blame him though!

[JACKSONFREAK]

is it just me or does that wolf spide look like it has ten legs instead of eight? as well as that camel spider. 10 frikkin legs? wtf is that shit? its a mutant. And that clock spider? that is one ugly ass mother fucker. and frikkin huge. I would leave there immediately if not sooner. UGH im glad i live in the mid west. lol altho we do have the wolf spiders and the black widows. And the occasional brown recluse. At lewast they dotn get bigger thant about an inch and a half. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK
i hate spiders.
Gil

[straycat]

I could but I won't clog up this thread with my escapades.

[Cygnus X1]

I like the kind that spin webs.

Last year, I was camped out on the back deck doing one of the the things I like best (Smokin' BBQ).
I saw a spider shoot a good 15 foot stringer all the way from the roof to the umbrella on the table. Then shoot another, and watched as the sun showed every detail of that fantastic creation as she made it. That, to my simple mind, was an amazing thing to witness as she made her way around a perfect web.

[Rsmacker]

I could but I won't clog up this thread with my escapades.

So start a new thread then! Seriously, I would love to read your experiences, I'm sure others would too. I missed out on quizzing lots of old WW2 vets and reading their tales, mundane or otherwise, and now they are gone forever. You have an ideal opportunity to share yours with us here. ( Especially involving big fuck-off spiders, snakes and creepy-crawlies!)

[Rsmacker]

I saw a spider shoot a good 15 foot stringer all the way from the roof to the umbrella on the table. Then shoot another, and watched as the sun showed every detail of that fantastic creation as she made it.

I can do that when I haven't had sex or spanked my monkey for a day or 2.

[straycat]

Thats an idea smackie I may do that.