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Several days ago a member of the board took it upon himself to post a political rant on the passage of gay marriage in California. While everybody is entitled to their own opinions threads that fuel political fires are usually discouraged here. People become so passionate about their view it leads to arguments. In the case of that particular thread it brought out a bigot and caused me to remove that member from our board. A day later a discussion took place in our allowed Platinum members area which caused me to reveal a deeply personal issue about myself. In an attempt to copy that thread into this forum I mistakenly erased the posts so I am going to take a minute and bring the whole membership up to speed.
When the gay bashing started, it irked me enough that it stayed with me for several days. Not only because of the type of posts that they were but the fact that it affected me in a personal way. For quite a while now I have labored over the decision to share something of myself with the board vs just keeping quiet and fading into the wood work. I was simply afraid to be judged harshly by my friends and peers. I was pleasantly surprised.
Yesterday morning I revealed in the platinum area about a struggle I've been dealing with my whole life and in fact how the JCF probably saved me. From the time I was very young I've been struggling with something known as Gender Identity Disorder, something that that brought to light on this board by one of our own members just 2-1/2 years ago.
In 2005 after years of doing my best to suppress my thoughts and feelings changes in my life caused me to have to re-evaluate where I was heading and as so many times in my past it spiraled me into a heavy depression. My daughter had moved from my home that year and my wife and I were left with empty nest syndrome. My way of not dealing with my issues was to always stay busy and not think about things. When I would have downtime, I would have time to think, time to be depressed. It was an issue that worried my family and mainly my wife because she never knew if I would take my life over it.
In July of 2005 I was involved in running 2 INTERNET boards, The JCF and Charvel Central. As I signed onto Charvel central one morning there was a post from a former member discussing a show he had seen on Discovery Heath Channel. On this show called him 2 her was a girl playing a Jackson Kelly, her name was Annah Moore and Annah was in process of Gender Reassignment. What made this a bombshell was that Annah was a member of our board.
After removing the post and contacting Annah I approached her about my own issues. I had known Annah through the JCF but never knew of her struggle. Annah seeing the path I was headed urged me to get help and in Aug of 2005 I entered therapy to deal with my own gender issue.
Today I am doing much better and I am doing what I need to do to be healthy and live a long life. It is better for me to be true and be alive for my family than to stay on the path I was on and leave them behind.
I've never been one to believe in fate or destiny but for whatever reason the right things were place in my path at the right time that saved my life. Playing Charvels>Collecting Charvel>Running the JCF>Annah's Story>My own help ... the puzzle just fit together.
Yesterday after posting my story the outpouring of support was nothing short of amazing and I am so taken back to know there are so many great people on this board.
Today I am doing well and I am finally finding a sense of peace that I'd never been able to attain in myself. I always ad to find my happiness in others. For the first time I am finding it in myself.
My friend Annah has been nothing short of amazing in her own journey and her ability to help others in similar circumstance. The one thing that stood out about her was how unashamed and positive a person she was, this is a lesson I'm carrying on.
For anyone wanting more info on G.I.D
Annah's Site
When the gay bashing started, it irked me enough that it stayed with me for several days. Not only because of the type of posts that they were but the fact that it affected me in a personal way. For quite a while now I have labored over the decision to share something of myself with the board vs just keeping quiet and fading into the wood work. I was simply afraid to be judged harshly by my friends and peers. I was pleasantly surprised.
Yesterday morning I revealed in the platinum area about a struggle I've been dealing with my whole life and in fact how the JCF probably saved me. From the time I was very young I've been struggling with something known as Gender Identity Disorder, something that that brought to light on this board by one of our own members just 2-1/2 years ago.
In 2005 after years of doing my best to suppress my thoughts and feelings changes in my life caused me to have to re-evaluate where I was heading and as so many times in my past it spiraled me into a heavy depression. My daughter had moved from my home that year and my wife and I were left with empty nest syndrome. My way of not dealing with my issues was to always stay busy and not think about things. When I would have downtime, I would have time to think, time to be depressed. It was an issue that worried my family and mainly my wife because she never knew if I would take my life over it.
In July of 2005 I was involved in running 2 INTERNET boards, The JCF and Charvel Central. As I signed onto Charvel central one morning there was a post from a former member discussing a show he had seen on Discovery Heath Channel. On this show called him 2 her was a girl playing a Jackson Kelly, her name was Annah Moore and Annah was in process of Gender Reassignment. What made this a bombshell was that Annah was a member of our board.
After removing the post and contacting Annah I approached her about my own issues. I had known Annah through the JCF but never knew of her struggle. Annah seeing the path I was headed urged me to get help and in Aug of 2005 I entered therapy to deal with my own gender issue.
Today I am doing much better and I am doing what I need to do to be healthy and live a long life. It is better for me to be true and be alive for my family than to stay on the path I was on and leave them behind.
I've never been one to believe in fate or destiny but for whatever reason the right things were place in my path at the right time that saved my life. Playing Charvels>Collecting Charvel>Running the JCF>Annah's Story>My own help ... the puzzle just fit together.
Yesterday after posting my story the outpouring of support was nothing short of amazing and I am so taken back to know there are so many great people on this board.
Today I am doing well and I am finally finding a sense of peace that I'd never been able to attain in myself. I always ad to find my happiness in others. For the first time I am finding it in myself.
My friend Annah has been nothing short of amazing in her own journey and her ability to help others in similar circumstance. The one thing that stood out about her was how unashamed and positive a person she was, this is a lesson I'm carrying on.
For anyone wanting more info on G.I.D
Annah's Site
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