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Inspired by a simillar thread on another forum. We've had our fair share of Political Correctness the last couple of weeks. Now let's get down to business!
I'll start it off with a couple of my own, I've got plenty more for later!
Disclaimer: me and my group of friends are basically alcoholics.
1)This reminds me of a time we were in Italy, boozing it up in the hotelroom before we hit the town.
A mate of mine had to take a shit so he goes into the bathroom (didn' close the door), and he's sitting on the pot taking a dump, when he has to puke and the only option was the bidet in front of him.So he was sitting on the toilet shitting, while puking in the bidet in front of him. We were laughing ourselves to death.
2) Once I went to bed in my dormroom, totally fucked up on vodka. All of a sudden I wake up and start puking (constant stream of vomit). WHILE puking, I am panicking, I jump up in bed, puke flying everywhere, I lean over the side to at least make it go on the floor. I decide to make a run for a bucket (which I had gotten EXACTLY for this purpose, but left conviently across the room), so I jump off the bed in a mad dash for the bucket, WHILE STLL PUKING, but I slip in my own puke and fell into it. That was awesome. When the puking finally stopped, everything in my room (even my laptop, textbooks, etc) was covered, so I just said fuck it, went back to sleep on a vomit-ridden bed. The next morning was quite a nightmare, cleaning all that shit up with a massive hangover.
3) I once woke up in a gutter at the crack of dawn, moments away from being sweeped over by a street-cleaning-truck. We were out drinking that night with our group again, and shit got crazy again as usual. I supposedly decided to check what was on the other side of this club's emergency exit at the back. So I go out through it and end up in this sort of tiny mid-city backyard. Surprise, Surprise the door didn't have a handle on the outside, so instead of using my cellphone to call my mates inside to let me back in, my criminally drunk ass decides to start crawling over the wall surrounding the yard in midnight darkness. I managed to crawl over the wall onto a neighbouring roof, cutting up my arms and hands in the progess. I run across two rooftops, jump down in another yard, and the backdoor from that house was open, so I go into the house. The people living there woke up, thinking there was a burglar in the house, they come running down the stairs. I frantically flea through an unknown house, make my way to their frontdoor, make it to the street and just RUN AND RUN AND RUN AND RUN. Then I bought some gin at a night-store and passed out in the gutter shortly thereafter
[this is where it gets criminal, responsible souls read NO FURTHER!]
4) Out drinking again (like almost every night). Jacked up on vodka, weed and anything we could get our hands on. We went to our usual hangout clubs/bars. Did some awesome partying. Then at like 4am we got word that a friend of ours was going to begin his set at a dj-contest in a club across town, so we went on foot with this group of like 9 guys and 5 girls. We're partying on the streets and we get to the quieter part of town, where all of the sudden some people decide it would be cool to start fucking with parked cars and streetsigns and whatnot. Everyone joined in at the end. The damage we must have caused...At one time a policevan started hurling down the streets, lights and siren on towards us. We know the city pretty well so we just raaaaan and raaaan through alleys until we finally made it to the dj-contest where we mingled with the crowd and drank some more. Anyways, I woke up in a girlfriend's room. I was lying in her bed with a MASSIVE streetsign clenched in a loving embrace and she was half on the bed / half on the floor passed out with two car sidemirrors draped around her neck. When we went out that morning to get breakfast we found her missing dinnertable and several broken bottles of vodka outside on the street. We had apparently decided it would be a good idea to throw them out her 3rd floor window in the middle of the night. Police had supposedly been looking for us, but for some reason never caught us.
I'll start it off with a couple of my own, I've got plenty more for later!
Disclaimer: me and my group of friends are basically alcoholics.
1)This reminds me of a time we were in Italy, boozing it up in the hotelroom before we hit the town.
A mate of mine had to take a shit so he goes into the bathroom (didn' close the door), and he's sitting on the pot taking a dump, when he has to puke and the only option was the bidet in front of him.So he was sitting on the toilet shitting, while puking in the bidet in front of him. We were laughing ourselves to death.
2) Once I went to bed in my dormroom, totally fucked up on vodka. All of a sudden I wake up and start puking (constant stream of vomit). WHILE puking, I am panicking, I jump up in bed, puke flying everywhere, I lean over the side to at least make it go on the floor. I decide to make a run for a bucket (which I had gotten EXACTLY for this purpose, but left conviently across the room), so I jump off the bed in a mad dash for the bucket, WHILE STLL PUKING, but I slip in my own puke and fell into it. That was awesome. When the puking finally stopped, everything in my room (even my laptop, textbooks, etc) was covered, so I just said fuck it, went back to sleep on a vomit-ridden bed. The next morning was quite a nightmare, cleaning all that shit up with a massive hangover.
3) I once woke up in a gutter at the crack of dawn, moments away from being sweeped over by a street-cleaning-truck. We were out drinking that night with our group again, and shit got crazy again as usual. I supposedly decided to check what was on the other side of this club's emergency exit at the back. So I go out through it and end up in this sort of tiny mid-city backyard. Surprise, Surprise the door didn't have a handle on the outside, so instead of using my cellphone to call my mates inside to let me back in, my criminally drunk ass decides to start crawling over the wall surrounding the yard in midnight darkness. I managed to crawl over the wall onto a neighbouring roof, cutting up my arms and hands in the progess. I run across two rooftops, jump down in another yard, and the backdoor from that house was open, so I go into the house. The people living there woke up, thinking there was a burglar in the house, they come running down the stairs. I frantically flea through an unknown house, make my way to their frontdoor, make it to the street and just RUN AND RUN AND RUN AND RUN. Then I bought some gin at a night-store and passed out in the gutter shortly thereafter
[this is where it gets criminal, responsible souls read NO FURTHER!]
4) Out drinking again (like almost every night). Jacked up on vodka, weed and anything we could get our hands on. We went to our usual hangout clubs/bars. Did some awesome partying. Then at like 4am we got word that a friend of ours was going to begin his set at a dj-contest in a club across town, so we went on foot with this group of like 9 guys and 5 girls. We're partying on the streets and we get to the quieter part of town, where all of the sudden some people decide it would be cool to start fucking with parked cars and streetsigns and whatnot. Everyone joined in at the end. The damage we must have caused...At one time a policevan started hurling down the streets, lights and siren on towards us. We know the city pretty well so we just raaaaan and raaaan through alleys until we finally made it to the dj-contest where we mingled with the crowd and drank some more. Anyways, I woke up in a girlfriend's room. I was lying in her bed with a MASSIVE streetsign clenched in a loving embrace and she was half on the bed / half on the floor passed out with two car sidemirrors draped around her neck. When we went out that morning to get breakfast we found her missing dinnertable and several broken bottles of vodka outside on the street. We had apparently decided it would be a good idea to throw them out her 3rd floor window in the middle of the night.
Police had supposedly been looking for us, but for some reason never caught us.
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