I could friggin kill my buds for this joke!

[horns666]

Bill, you're a priest!

That's right!!!

I am..I forgot..Rev B. Fuggums at your service!!

Oh man, I have something perfect for this..only if I remebered how to scan a damn pic..

[horns666]

Best thing you can do as a parent is keep your kids OFF the fucking computer! Even if they don't get into the porn, or the violent patches for their video games, or being stalked by old men on MySpace, or hacking into the Pentagon, or pirating movies and music, or plagiarizing term papers, or threatening other kids, or... shit, this list could go on forever... at the very least the technology becomes a crutch. Why go to the library and read something when Wikipedia has all the answers. Wonder why the cashiers at McDonald's can't make change for a dollar without the computer telling them how much? Well, there you go.

Very Very Very true..

Its cool that my kid's school INSISTS on Books including the bibliographies. He's going to the library today to get a book he needs to read over summer break. Books, remember those things?

I LOVE the library!!! Did you know you can get just about any movie for FREE. If they don't have it, they'll just order it and call you when it arrives. Meanwhile there's always something you can grab to watch. I think its silly people still pay to rent movies..Hey the few extra bucks can go in the tank or in my stomach. I'm just cheap, but you have to be these days.

No way my kid is gettin' his own fuggin' computer. He's a 13 year old me..oh man, that's fucked up. I'm doomed! :ROTF:

[Carbuff]

Ya know, Ive seen some weird stuff on the internet, and Ive always kept an open mind as far as the kinky stuff goes. But one thing I could never stomach was the poop stuff. Holy Cleveland steamer, Batman. That shit is just nasty and turns my stomach. Ive always thought that the 2 girls, 1 cup thing was fake, using chocolate mousse and clever editing but this thing is just plain nasty, although I could see how it could be fake too. Not my cup of, err, tea.

[Spivonious]

Wonder why the cashiers at McDonald's can't make change for a dollar without the computer telling them how much? Well, there you go.

I went to Petsmart once to get some dog food and gave the girl a twenty and then realized I had the change to go with it (it was like $15.26 or something).

Me: "Oh, I have the 26 cents."
Cashier: "It's too late."
Me: "..."

[savage]

Ya know, Ive seen some weird stuff on the internet, and Ive always kept an open mind as far as the kinky stuff goes. But one thing I could never stomach was the poop stuff. Holy Cleveland steamer, Batman. That shit is just nasty and turns my stomach. Ive always thought that the 2 girls, 1 cup thing was fake, using chocolate mousse and clever editing but this thing is just plain nasty, although I could see how it could be fake too. Not my cup of, err, tea.

What i dont get is if it made me almost puke just watching it, how in the FUCK can they eat shit and vomit and have it all over their face without HURLING?

[joelayres]

I gave a cashier at a fast food joint a half-dollar coin. The dialog was as follows:

cashier to manager: what is this?
manager to cashier: a 50 cent piece
cashier to manager: how much is it worth?
manager and customers: hysterical laughter

[GryphonGuitar]

I work as a teacher, and kids today are amazed when I tell them things like "The Internet wasn't around when I was Your age"

I mean, they sit down in a circle around me, and I tell them of stories of how a friend of Yours would watch Baywatch, and catch some sideboob, and then call You over so You could catch the rerun, and since You didn't know where it was, You had to maintain a 60 minute erection while waiting for the golden sideboob shot that made it all worth it...

Or watching scrambled porn at a friend's house and pretending that the pixel that just flickered by was actually a genital... It's freaky.

But the Internet changes You. Nowadays I even preview my porn to make sure it's worthy.

[savage]

I work as a teacher, and kids today are amazed when I tell them things like "The Internet wasn't around when I was Your age"

I mean, they sit down in a circle around me, and I tell them of stories of how a friend of Yours would watch Baywatch, and catch some sideboob, and then call You over so You could catch the rerun, and since You didn't know where it was, You had to maintain a 60 minute erection while waiting for the golden sideboob shot that made it all worth it...

Or watching scrambled porn at a friend's house and pretending that the pixel that just flickered by was actually a genital... It's freaky.

But the Internet changes You. Nowadays I even preview my porn to make sure it's worthy.

I became overly obsessed with PORN a few years back because of the internet and it was getting out of hand(pardon the pun) now i wont even watch it.
the only reason i saw that four girls fingerpaint was because my buds thought it would be funny to see my reaction and needless to say it was friggin funny! I just about lost all my beer and pizza

[JACKS0NESP]

I can eat and watch that and related vids.

I can't eat and watch people getting shot in the face/suicide vids.

I can't watch beheading vids.


But..a man getting f'ed by a horse IS grossly funny. (don't ask...but it's just so wrong).

[Rsmacker]

But..a man getting f'ed by a horse IS grossly funny. (don't ask...but it's just so wrong).

Mr Hands??

I haven't seen the fingerpainting one yet, someone give me a live link that isn't going to lead me down a bind alley (then jump on me and bum me)
Eeeh, I remember the good old days, with Usenet, no cunt trying to trick you into signing up for a site, no, just good old fashioned deviants sharing their filth on Alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.anal etc etc.

The great thing is educating some young whippersnapper, you know, 20 years old, thinks he's seen it all. You tell him about Goatse, Tubgirl, LemonParty etc, let him go home to do some "research", then next time you see him he has somehow matured, he has that distant look in his eyes. He isn't quite so clever now....
"How can people do that?"

"Well, sit down Glasshopper. Here, have a chocolate finger. Hey, where you going? I meant a biscuit........"

[horns666]

I watched one beheading vid (Nick Byrd?)and it bothered me. Not too many thing do these days prolly because of my job. I have only THREE images I will take to my grave..all kids. The rest is a blur or things I just blew off.

One thing I can't stomach is the smell of a bloated corpse that rotted in a house during the summer months..I've blown chunks before (always after lunch/breakfast) ..much to the pleasure of my partners. Man, they thought that was hilarious! Sometimes they blew chunks..but I had to remain professional due to certain situations.

No, cigars, vicks in the nose doesn't work..breathing thru your mouth does..but then you TASTE it all day!!

[dg]

Enjoy your internet porn, fellas, but don't make the mistake of being married to the wrong woman if you do:

http://www.tmz.com/2008/07/02/brinkleys-ex-had-huge-porn-habit/

Ouch! I think that's gonna leave a mark. :ROTF::ROTF:

[savage]

I watched one beheading vid (Nick Byrd?)and it bothered me. Not too many thing do these days prolly because of my job. I have only THREE images I will take to my grave..all kids. The rest is a blur or things I just blew off.

One thing I can't stomach is the smell of a bloated corpse that rotted in a house during the summer months..I've blown chunks before (always after lunch/breakfast) ..much to the pleasure of my partners. Man, they thought that was hilarious! Sometimes they blew chunks..but I had to remain professional due to certain situations.

No, cigars, vicks in the nose doesn't work..breathing thru your mouth does..but then you TASTE it all day!!

yeah being that you were a cop you've seen things that make the internet look like nothing huh?
this is one fucked up world,thought about leaving it a few times when i was younger,but that does not stop the madness
maybe dec 2012 will be when the madness stops

[Carbuff]

What i dont get is if it made me almost puke just watching it, how in the FUCK can they eat shit and vomit and have it all over their face without HURLING?

My theory is that its not shit but chocolate mousse given as an enema and then the scene cuts and the girl has it all in her crack but its not the same "shit". Then all the vomitting comes from a tube hidden on the girls body and such. It could easily be faked using such methods. Thats my theory as to why these girls dont just vomit all over the place from it. Its faked.

[stevoc]

Someone emailed me the link not describing what it was, and coming from a (use to be) trusted source I didn't think twice. Got four or five seconds into it and closed the browser...right when the one girl started mounging. BLEH!