Slight dilemma (sp?)

[QuantumRider]

This couple did it right:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=YT56YizyR2o

[GodOfRhythm]

This couple did it right:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=YT56YizyR2o

What fuckin' awesome couple.

[JetFixxxer]

Guns-n-Roses - I use to love her

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZmEDB7OCQU

[quadperson]

+1 for Def Leppard's Promises. Also, Firehouse's Love of a Lifetime. A buddy of mine opened up for them and got me and the ex backstage. Bill Leverty signed our poster, "to Shawn and Jaymi, a love of a lifetime." Pretty cool. Still have it. Just not her, lol.

[Musician78]

This couple did it right:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=YT56YizyR2o

As much fun as that appears to be.... I barely have the ability to slow dance; I don't think she's much better, lol. Between the two of us, we would probably kill someone with our clumsyness.

[Newc]

Pick a couple of Chet Atkins instrumentals of traditional Country songs. The man could play two songs at once, so you get your Guitar Geek off and she gets her Country off.

Just not Tennessee Waltz.

[Rsmacker]

Doesn't matter what you dance to, just make sure your cock is hanging out. You'll be dancing close, and your new mother-in-law will be watching, she will think she can see your purple-headed love warrior, but she won't be sure:

" 'Ere, Gerald, has he...........erm.....isn't that...........he has y'know.......where's my specs? Oooh, I thought I saw........yep......it is......isn't it? Gerald! Gerald! That dirty bastard has got his cock out on the dance floor!!"

By that point, her voice will be really loud, especially after a couple of glasses of Champers, and someone is bound to hear the good lady bellowing about cock, at her own daughter's wedding. Tsk, she's as common as muck!

Just make sure you put it away before you leave the warm embrace of your new wife, but make sure you are doing your fly up as you leave the dancefloor and head past the family table. Wink at your new Pa-in-law and pat the wife's arse as you pass:
"Guess which hole I'm putting it in tonight Daddy"

Doesn't matter how long you have been together, or how many times you have plundered her chutney cupboard, there is something psychologically crushing about the fact that your new Mrs is no longer Daddy's little girl, and it will be un-balancing for him to reflect on the fact that a feckless wastrel like you (as I sincerely hope you are), is going to be balling his offspring at will. In the bumhole. She is your property.

I guarantee a punch-up.

Oh, and dance with Ma-in-law afterwards and press your raging boner into her thigh. She will either hit you with a chair, or drag you into the toilets and suck you off. Which is more preferable? Be sure to drunkenly slur into her ear that you like "MILFs with big saggy tits, like a roof-tiler's nailbag", and suggest a quick try-out to see what's in store for you when your wife "turns into an old trout too". She'll be as wet as an otter's pocket, and powerless to resist your charms, she'll be overjoyed at your joining the family. Or maybe she'll run out screaming, dragging her little girl with her, especially if you pack your trousers out with a Spinal Tap size marrow.

Let us know how you get on.



R. Smacker, Marriage Guidance Counsellor and Party Organiser (Ex Club 18-30, Faliraki Totenkopf Division),
"Giving out free advice, for a real night to remember"

[Ben...]

I got nothing. I can't top that. Greatest marital advice EVER...




Edit: I'm pretty sure that's up for post of the year.

[UFORocks]

Damn... I cant wait to show this thread to my wife LOL. Especially when considering the fact that her family is the very conservative church going type, and she's well... thankfully not so much

-Steve

[Tekky]

What is the name of the W.A.S.P. tune?...........................

L.O.V.E. Machine? F*** Like A Beast?

Not really a band that goes over well at weddings.

[joelayres]

Rsmacker - you should be in a comedy show somewhere!
Thats some funny shit - Diceman ain't got shit on you!

[LouSiffer]

If you want something soft and centimental (sp?) from a rock genre, I would recommend Saigon Kick's " Love is on the way ".

She likes country and you don't.... How about Linda Ronstadt and Aaron Neville doing " I don't know much ( But I know I love you ) ". Its done by 2 country artists, but, its not a country type of song.

Tesla's " Love will find a way" is decent too.

Aerosmith's " Angel "

If none of this flatters you, I really recommend you go hard core country:

Hank WIlliams Jr.: " Why Don't we get drunk and screw "

Rodney Carrington: " Titties and Beer"

David Allan Coe: Fuck.... any one of his are perfect.

Rock:

Motley Crue: " She goes Down "....well she may now, but she won't after you say " I do".

Rap:

NWA: " Automobile "


-Lou

[Musician78]

I guarantee a punch-up.

R. Smacker, Marriage Guidance Counsellor and Party Organiser (Ex Club 18-30, Faliraki Totenkopf Division),
"Giving out free advice, for a real night to remember"

That is awesome. I will have someone ready with the video camera... perhaps we can post it on YouTube.

[stevoc]

Check out some Bryan Adams stuff....Not too hard but does have some good over-driven sounds. We danced to "Please Forgive Me" at our wedding. Great song.