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Yessir, can't blame the following comments on booze, this is straight up horse manure on a 70 degree Christmas Eve! Ladyfriend needs to hurry up and get here before the wrapping falls off her gift! 
Anyway, after reading a couple of posts that qouted Bible scriptures, I got to wondering a lot about Hell. See, being Southern Baptist, I was always taught that a little sin is just as bad as a big sin. If for some reason you forgot to ask forgiveness and you kicked the bucket, you got a one way ticket to The Tropics!
Man, over the years, I was told by paster after paster that Hell was one miserable place to spend eternity. Even Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley sang about how hot that joint was! Now, I like warm weather, but I don't care to be miserable. So, without doing some weirdo GOOGLE search, I'm wondering if there are "degrees" or levels of Hell.
You know, some people believe that "living" is Hell. I know for a fact that "living" with my ex-wife was Hell, but that's another story. So, I guess you could say that living a miserable life is Level 1 or the First Degree. Some examples of individuals that might meet the criteria for Level 1 include people who fart in elevators, musicians who add aftermarket tuners to vintage 1981 Gibson Flying Vs, dog kickers, you get the picture.
So, moving forward to Level 2 or the Second Degree of Hell. I've got this sneaking suspicion that the temperature levels may increase slightly. That's OK. Sweating has never hurt anyone! My concern is who the fuck is going to be hanging out in this area. You know, I like to lounge in the heat, but I damn sure don't want Eric Estrada asking me if I'd like some C.H.I.P.S. and dip! How big of a sin gets you to this level? Selling fake Charvels? Post whoring? Pissing in your bandmate's beer cup? Yea, This is a place that I think is going to be overpopulated. Note to self: Better make reservations.
OK, this is getting serious! The ladyfriend needs to get here and get here quick! I'm old and only have so much stamina, even if it is Christmas Eve! Bitch!
Sorry, where was I? Oh, Level 3 or the Third Degree. Just like martial arts, I've got a feeling this area is gonna kick your ass. No need for SPF 30. I bet George Hamilton is the maitre d' of Hell's Kitchen! Now, I can take a lot of heat, but if there is one thing I can't stand and that's eating spicey food and crapping a volcano.
Looking back, I've done a few of the things mentioned above, but have my sins been so bad that I deserve the Third Degree? Who belongs here? Me? You? Everyone? Oh shit, that involves the ex-wife again! What the fuck constitutes Level 3?
Oops, the ladyfriend just arrived but without food. I smarted off and she told me to go to Hell! Should I ask which level?
P.S. Merry Christmas and stay debt free!
Anyway, after reading a couple of posts that qouted Bible scriptures, I got to wondering a lot about Hell. See, being Southern Baptist, I was always taught that a little sin is just as bad as a big sin. If for some reason you forgot to ask forgiveness and you kicked the bucket, you got a one way ticket to The Tropics!
Man, over the years, I was told by paster after paster that Hell was one miserable place to spend eternity. Even Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley sang about how hot that joint was! Now, I like warm weather, but I don't care to be miserable. So, without doing some weirdo GOOGLE search, I'm wondering if there are "degrees" or levels of Hell.
You know, some people believe that "living" is Hell. I know for a fact that "living" with my ex-wife was Hell, but that's another story. So, I guess you could say that living a miserable life is Level 1 or the First Degree. Some examples of individuals that might meet the criteria for Level 1 include people who fart in elevators, musicians who add aftermarket tuners to vintage 1981 Gibson Flying Vs, dog kickers, you get the picture.
So, moving forward to Level 2 or the Second Degree of Hell. I've got this sneaking suspicion that the temperature levels may increase slightly. That's OK. Sweating has never hurt anyone! My concern is who the fuck is going to be hanging out in this area. You know, I like to lounge in the heat, but I damn sure don't want Eric Estrada asking me if I'd like some C.H.I.P.S. and dip! How big of a sin gets you to this level? Selling fake Charvels? Post whoring? Pissing in your bandmate's beer cup? Yea, This is a place that I think is going to be overpopulated. Note to self: Better make reservations.
OK, this is getting serious! The ladyfriend needs to get here and get here quick! I'm old and only have so much stamina, even if it is Christmas Eve! Bitch!
Sorry, where was I? Oh, Level 3 or the Third Degree. Just like martial arts, I've got a feeling this area is gonna kick your ass. No need for SPF 30. I bet George Hamilton is the maitre d' of Hell's Kitchen! Now, I can take a lot of heat, but if there is one thing I can't stand and that's eating spicey food and crapping a volcano.
Looking back, I've done a few of the things mentioned above, but have my sins been so bad that I deserve the Third Degree? Who belongs here? Me? You? Everyone? Oh shit, that involves the ex-wife again! What the fuck constitutes Level 3?
Oops, the ladyfriend just arrived but without food. I smarted off and she told me to go to Hell! Should I ask which level?
P.S. Merry Christmas and stay debt free!
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