The Old Folks Home

[SEEGERMANY]

Maybe it was the Happy Birthday thread for Rich or it could of been the pictures of the Old Hogs standing next to the "Hog," who knows? But it got me to thinking about being half a century old.

You know guys and gals, once you reach the big "50," things don't get better! So, this thread is dedicated to us "old farts" in the hopes that our comments will scare the Bejeebus out of you young, full of snot, whippersnappers.

You know you're getting old when you find yourself standing in front of the bathroom mirror holding a toothbrush in one hand and your Arrid deodorant stick in the other.

You know you're getting old when going to bed is more painful than getting up in the morning.

You know you're getting old when you think "if I get laid, that's great. If I don't get laid, that's great too."

You know your getting old when your standing at the bar and a young girl bumps into you and says "excuse me sir."

You know your getting old when the AARP application arrives in the mail.

You know you're getting old when you realize that you qualify for the Senior Olympics.

You know you're getting old when you can remember your whole 2nd grade class, but you can't remember what you just watched on the television.

You know you're getting old when you walk into Wal-Mart and grin when you see the electric handicapped scooters and think "boy, those look like fun!"

[nhspike]

Mark,
It's time for your oatmeal.
Don't forget, it's Friday, so Bingo at 10 a.m.

[horns666]

Thanks for making me feel good today SEEGEE!

Ya bastid!!!

I walk around the house like Red Foxx in Sanford and Son...I don't know when this started. It just kinda happened!!:think:

Some days my wife has to work a little harder with Lil' Bill. I can't seem to find a happy medium. Either I finish under 30 seconds or 45 minutes..I don't know when this started. It just kinda happened. :think:..But at least I finish, which is all that matters.

[SEEGERMANY]

"I walk around the house like Red Foxx in Sanford and Son"

You should see me for the first 1/4 of a mile into my morning walk. I look like Chester on the old original Gunsmoke series! "Marshall Dillon, Marshall Dillon!"

You know your getting old when the only little blue pill you care about is ALEVE.

You know your getting old when you look at Keith Richards and say "that cat don't look too bad for his age."

You know you're getting old when you have to blend your Beef Jerky!

You know you're getting old when you show up at a gig with your '65 Strat and someone says "check out the vintage instrument" and they mean you.

You know you're getting old when you just don't give a shit and you can't remember why.

You know you're getting old when "One Minute Oats" seems to take too damned long.

[VitaminG]

bah, old farts. Go eat your prunes, grampa!

[horns666]

Here's my youtube debut!!!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8WrI...eature=related

That's raisin bran G..I need it to go poo poo!!!

[SEEGERMANY]

You'd be surprised what us old farts can still do. After reviewing several JCF member's pics, I know for a fact that I can outrun most of you young fat fucks. I know I'm getting more pussy than most of you young fat fucks. More than likely, I out earn more than 85% of you young fat fucks! Sucks to be a young fat fuck!

Now, where were we.

You know you're getting old when young fat fucks remind you that they're probably going to be wiping your ass someday in the retirement home!

You know you're getting old when The Playboy Channel bores the shit out of ya.

[SEEGERMANY]

Oh man, that video was GREAT! I love to see old farts with a great sense of humor!

[donf]

Ahhh.............50 is about 8 months away........ these are best times !

[lerxstcat]

Getting old beats dying young!

[Hellbat]

Getting old means your hair stops growing on your head and starts growing rapidly out of your ears and nose.

[atomic charvel guy]

" I'm comin' Elizabeth!!"

[triplehold]

Too funny- time flies and growing old gracefully is the best goal to a have. You have to just get up and go every day, stay moving, eat nutritious food and stay the weight you were when you were 18. Remember, your in it for the long haul and you have a long way to go no matter how old you are. Most elderly people will tell you they always feel 21 inside. I would rather be old than six feet under, most of my boys I grew up with are gone but not forgotten. I remember my parents and grandparents and my children and grandchildren will remember me, other than that it's like that song- "birth, school, work, death". Just remember- respect your elders, they were young once and paved the way for the things we have today. There is no substitute for experience. Oh yeah, when you get a "senior discount", it really cracks you up!

[SEEGERMANY]

Speaking of discounts, I got one today. I've been in the process of changing banks because my present bank feels the need to ass rape with service charges. So I found a local bank that had good history and I walked and inquired about opening a checking and savings account. The young girl looked at me and without hesitation said "you look over fifty! We have the 50 Club which gives you unlimited checking with absolutely no service charge!"

I stood there for a minute and didn't crack a smile. Suddenly, she turned as white as a cotton ball and said "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, that just slipped out." Then we both got tickled.

[triplehold]

Heck yeah SEEGEE- and a lot of those young bank teller chicks have a "thing" for us old dogs!