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Chimp Attack. Crazy News Story.

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  • #16
    Don't have a pet that could fuckin kill you as easy as it walks across the room. Ok, you are now cool, you have a pet that nobody else had. You win. Now your best friend will probably die from it. You dumb cunt.

    Matt

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Cleveland Metal View Post
      and they ripped his genitalia/testicles from his body.

      These things are nuts... Terrible...
      Yep, testicles are nuts over here too.
      So I woke up,rolled over and who was lying next to me? Only Bonnie Langford!

      I nearly broke her back

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      • #18
        That's a change. You guys usually have some wild name for everything.

        Took me a while to figure out what a slice of bacon was. Now I forgot what you call it already.

        Something I saw on the net, where a guy asked a question about chimp strength...

        ____________

        "It's a lot easier to get a chimp in roller skates than it is to get him to pump iron — hence, most of the data on chimp strength is anecdotal and decidedly unscientific. In tests at the Bronx Zoo in 1924, a dynamometer — a scale that measures the mechanical force of a pull on a spring — was erected in the monkey house.

        A 165-pound male chimpanzee named "Boma" registered a pull of 847 pounds, using only his right hand (although he did have his feet braced against the wall, being somewhat hip, in his simian way, to the principles of leverage). A 165-pound man, by comparison, could manage a one-handed pull of about 210 pounds. Even more frightening, a female chimp, weighing a mere 135 pounds and going by the name of Suzette, checked in with a one-handed pull of 1,260 pounds. (She was in a fit of passion at the time; one shudders to think what her boyfriend must have looked like next morning.)

        In dead lifts, chimps have been known to manage weights of 600 pounds without even breaking into a sweat. A male gorilla could probably heft an 1,800-pound weight and not think twice about it."

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        • #19
          Chimp War!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7XuXi3mqYM

          Chimp attacks dude http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co5RHqs4pZw

          Chimps attacks dudes that help feed them http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5vE3...eature=related

          Monkey attack little girl http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcr3U...eature=related

          chimp beating big time! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNj9U...eature=related
          "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
          Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

          "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

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          • #20


            "we didn't say shit, we didn't see shit, nor did we hear shit"
            "POOP"

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            • #21
              Originally posted by Cleveland Metal View Post
              That's a change. You guys usually have some wild name for everything.

              Took me a while to figure out what a slice of bacon was. Now I forgot what you call it already.
              Ah yes, that'd be "rashers" of bacon.

              As in, "her skirt was so short, you could see her rashers".
              So I woke up,rolled over and who was lying next to me? Only Bonnie Langford!

              I nearly broke her back

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              • #22
                Hahaha.... Outstanding... Yes, that was it, rashers...

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by Rsmacker View Post
                  As in, "her skirt was so short, you could see her rashers".
                  That's as bad as "beef curtains."
                  "POOP"

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by OnlineStageGear View Post
                    Don't have a pet that could fuckin kill you as easy as it walks across the room. Ok, you are now cool, you have a pet that nobody else had. You win. Now your best friend will probably die from it. You dumb cunt.

                    Matt
                    that was hilarious even though you didn't intend that

                    maybe it's "don't be friends with any ape-bedders" :ROTF:
                    the guitar players look damaged - they've been outcasts all their lives

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                    • #25
                      Hey, let's face it, the no-face lady was kinda partly to blame here. When your buddy calls you up and says "hey man, my chimp has gone nutso, can you come over and help me round him up?", are you getting in your car and driving right over? Seriously?
                      Sleep!!, That's where I'm a viking!!

                      http://www.myspace.com/grindhouseadtheband

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                      • #26
                        Wow, I didn't hear she was called to help with the chimp that was on a bender, haha... Is that the current release?

                        No way would I come to help with that... I've helped round up a neighbors pitbull that was out running the hood tho, but I'm good with them.

                        Chimps? I got a tranquilizer gun. It has seventeen 147 grain Hydroshoks in it...

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                        • #27
                          I got a tranquilizer too - a .22

                          Give the monkey a looooong nap
                          I want to depart this world the same way I arrived; screaming and covered in someone else's blood

                          The most human thing we can do is comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

                          My Blog: http://newcenstein.com

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                          • #28
                            That lady is in Cleveland. There's 5-6 teams of doctors working on her. They'll prolly make her look better than ever. Then when she's released from the Cleveland Clinic, she'll get hit on the head with a bottle buy some crazy crackhead. Then ran over by some booger who just stole a car, dragging her for 20+ miles.

                            ..just thinkin'.
                            "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
                            Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

                            "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              This vid is from officers on scene. You can clearly see that the chimp is on xanax..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNj9U...eature=related
                              "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
                              Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

                              "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                As a baby...


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