Am I old fashioned?

[Endrik]

However, no matter how strict you are, they are going to find a way around the rules just as we did. The only difference, kids today brag about it.

I dunno man, plenty of old geezers brag about the shit they did when they were young.

But everyone's different. To some folks, doing stupid shit is like enjoying a good wine, they enjoy making the plan, executing it, then enjoying the result and cringing because of it a few days. That phase eventually goes over and that is that. I was kinda like that, no discipline would stop me, my parents were afraid to come home, not knowing what I have done again But I still kept some common sense thinking "doing stupid shit is cool but going to jail fucking sucks ass" so I never went really nuts. I really enjoyed doing all that, I was the brains behind a lot of shit what happened but I kinda grew out of it and now my family gets a big laugh when remembering my stunts.

But some people have no fucking clue what they do, they just go with the flow... often some manipulative dumbass who has no boundaries is behind it and drags everyone along. My younger brother was kinda like that... he went with the flow... easy to manipulate, he did 10 times less crap than I did... but when he did something it was not good. No one laughs at his stunts. No wonder folks were a lot more strict with him... but it wont stop the young and crazy... there's always a way.

[AK47]

Eject!

[Jason1212]

There were many a time I was supposed to be at a friends house, or at a midnight movie when I was actually out cruising or getting drunk a the lake. Unfortunately for my daughter she is going to have to come up with some good ones to get by me. To address your concern, no you are not old fashion. My daughter will be 11 next month and I dont even let her stay at home alone. Much less go out unescorted that late at night. Kids need freedom and you have to trust them, but both are earned. If that were my kid she would be in the negative on both trust and freedom at this point.

[Soap]

Oh, and you should never use that font at that size again. I have a headache now.

Good to know I wasn't the only struggling to read.
I squinted way too many times.

Anyhoo,
Don't neccessairly call her out on it but do share your thoughts about it with her and see how it goes.
Goes well, shes a keeper for awhile longer.
Goes bad, time to move on.

Can't have a relationship with someone with very loose parenting skills/decisions. To me, its a reflection of the type of person they are.

[Cleveland Metal]

Yeah, I'd agree about 'calling her out on it", but having a well thought out discussion w/her. Some people just dont have the skills for some things and maybe she needs some well spoken input. People are very touchy when it comes to their parenting "skilz", so definitely think it out well before hand. She may be open to input if spoken right.

I'd also agree, it may say a lot about her tho. When juggling lotsa balls, you drop one here and there. Still not good when it's her little girl.

[SEEGERMANY]

So once your piece is said, forget getting a piece.

Fixed!

[Rsmacker]

Ejaculate!

Fixed.

[Strangletooth]

There ain't no friggin way my kids would be doing that! Yeh, us old timers did A LOT of shit back in the day, BUT it was a totally different world back then! You didn't have hardly anything to worry about! Pedofiles, kidnappers, gang-bangers, etc shit's nuts these days.

Nice one Mr G!

And yeh Dred, wtf? Are those as in am? You'd be dead meat!

And when my kids bring up what I used to do or want to do what I do now? Simple... Do as I say, not as I do!

Now, whether you want to call her on it, is up to you, but one question to ask yourself, do you see you two together in 3-5 years? If so, tell her, if not, eh... whatever.

Good luck!

Oh and that type? Holy Toledo! I just copied and pasted it into a word doc.

[SEEGERMANY]

I do some of my best problem solving while I'm on my evening walk and I have this one last thought on the subject. As bad as men are, women are a hundred times worse when someone judges their performance as a mom. They do not take criticism well and there's a damned good chance she's going to resent your "butting in" on this matter, especially since you're not the child's biological father.

This incident should be viewed by you as a warning sign. Can you be happy with a woman who conducts herself in this manner? Can you look the other way knowing that her performance in this matter goes against everything you believe?

This is exactly why I don't get myself into another serious relationship other than I'm a selfish, self centered prick! Man, I'm constantly looking for the warning signs and then it's time to move on. "OK, Girlfriend 'A' has this hangup, but she's a good fuck. Girlfriend 'B' has this hangup, but she too is a good fuck. Girlfriend 'C' has a hangup about fucking, but she's a great cook!"

[guitarsjb]

This just confirms my reason # 29 why NOT to have kids..I have 1001 LOL

[scotty]

Sorry about the font guys I just pasted from word and had no idea it was going to come out that bad.
Thanks for all the input. A lot of good info. At least I know I am not the only one who feels this way. I did talk to her calmly today and we are back on speaking terms again. I sure am going to be keeping a close eye on how she handles situations in the future without making excuses for her. I will be looking at the warning signs like SEEGERMANY said. Maybe I should work on being more calm but I really thought she had lost her mind.
Of course she talked to a few people herself and they didn't see anything wrong with it. But then again they heard her side of the story and you all heard mine.
Thanks again guys for the reality check.

[Newc]

She needs to understand that she needs to be a Mother to her daughter, not a Friend. Friends let Friends do stupid shit. Mothers know what's stupid shit and that their daughters should not be doing stupid shit.

[AK47]

I am bored so I will chime in here. It really depends on the kids and the area they are in if this is acceptable. When I was a kid like 11-12yo I got dropped off at the skate rink at 8 pm and usually got picked up around 10:30pm or sometime 11 but this was a safe area and usually there were a bunch of other kids from my school there. I think it would be out of the question now because the demographic of the area has changed it just would not be safe.

In the summer we would leave our homes and not come back till it got dark without any cell phones or checking in and no one freaked out.

One last thing is the maturity level of the kids. I know people that are 30 and mentally 12 or less.

[Shawn Lutz]

Todays 11 is like 14 when you were a kid

I'm 45 and a parent of 14 (almost 15) and a 13 year old boys, I dont have any girls but sure I'd be slightly different with them. I do think for 11 yr olds that is kind a late but all parents knew and met each other and the kids were in a public place. I would NOT allow this in the gangland hood or anything but in a safe neighborood I'm fine with it. You are correct in questioning it but you need to understand the relationship between mother and daughter and mother and other parents. I certainly would not drop of my kids with people I dont know.

My boys had cell phones since the 3rd or 4th grades, constant communication whenever we're not around them. If they dont respond they lose freedom. As a parent you always feel uneasy about letting your kids go out unattened anywhere but knowing what they are doing, who they are with and regular checkins either by phone calls or txt messages makes it easier to deal with.