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Last night I had the pleasure of showing a fat Scotch bastard how to poke his wife properly. Now, being a gentleman, I went down on her axe wound minge (eyes kept tightly shut, it was grim) and gave her the old Johnny-Longtongue routine. Soon enough she was wriggling like Stephen Hawking on acid and there was fanny batter* spraying everywhere. I've met squirters before, always very impressive, and I thought this was just another one.
However, I now believe she simply derived pleasure from holding a bladder full of piss and then releasing it as she came. This is not the same as being a squirter. Result - me being covered in a heady mix of minge fizz (good) and piss (bad). Worse, I think there was more piss than fizz.
So anyway, there's no way I'm going "Eeew" when I'm on a mission, so I soldiered on, fucked her properly, periodically waving at hubby pummeling his pathetic prawn in the corner of the room, and some time later staggered off to clean up. I had a quick sluice, went to chat up a barmaid, then went home to bed.
Today, I woke up with the horrible stench of stale piss hanging about me. I showered seriously, had a bloody good scrub up, but every now and again, I get a whiff of nasty piss, and it's definitely this woman's piss.
Obviously my moustache usually harbours minge juice, which is great for some morning-after sniffage to remind one of the previous evening's fun and games, but I nearly scrubbed my top lip off so it's not coming from there. I just can't track it down. It's killing me.
What should I do, friends?
*As in the UK definition of fanny, not the Yank one. Yuk.
However, I now believe she simply derived pleasure from holding a bladder full of piss and then releasing it as she came. This is not the same as being a squirter. Result - me being covered in a heady mix of minge fizz (good) and piss (bad). Worse, I think there was more piss than fizz.
So anyway, there's no way I'm going "Eeew" when I'm on a mission, so I soldiered on, fucked her properly, periodically waving at hubby pummeling his pathetic prawn in the corner of the room, and some time later staggered off to clean up. I had a quick sluice, went to chat up a barmaid, then went home to bed.
Today, I woke up with the horrible stench of stale piss hanging about me. I showered seriously, had a bloody good scrub up, but every now and again, I get a whiff of nasty piss, and it's definitely this woman's piss.
Obviously my moustache usually harbours minge juice, which is great for some morning-after sniffage to remind one of the previous evening's fun and games, but I nearly scrubbed my top lip off so it's not coming from there. I just can't track it down. It's killing me.
What should I do, friends?
*As in the UK definition of fanny, not the Yank one. Yuk.
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