Stinky pussy

[wilkinsi]

I'm thinking of organising a lemon party for myself later in the year, involving a Max Mosely-style scenario where I'm the naughty F1 official being spanked by some 50 year old walruses. And then I bugger them.

I want Nazi uniforms, salutes, British colonial outfits, pith helmets, subjugated natives, the works. If it's offensive to somebody, I want it at my party.

Oh, and only one of you lot is invited - Dunderhead. I have something special planned for that naughty puppy.

There. Fixed it for you.

[gotwtt]

Dang, I didn't even know there were this many JCF UK'ers out there. There's like what 15 scot/english/irish members posting in this thread?.

and welsh

[SEEGERMANY]

and welsh

I dated a Whale. She was on the blubberish side.

[Rsmacker]

Yeah! Where the fuck is Auntie Shobs these days anyway?

Elysianfield and Wilksy Baby, you protest too much. I'll make sure you get SPECIAL invites.

Right, got to get back to limbering up my scrotum for tonight.

[Rsmacker]

Doing my job involves working in a glovebox to keep stuff from getting out into the working environment that you really really don't want there. Anyways, when you're holding said stuff with one hand, and pouring it into a container that you're holding with the other hand, you're hands are kind of occupied, you might as well be wearing a pair of handcuffs and be cuffed to an immovable object. You do NOT want any of this stuff to spill even in the glovebox....they're a pain to clean up...So when a funloving co-oworker stands beside you to watch what you're doing, but has a big goofy grin on his face, you know you're fucked.

Apparently my funloving co-worker has a really itchy asshole that he scratches at opportune times. He will then take this opportunity to waft his scratching fingertip basically into each nostril and ask "does this smell like anything?"

You haven't got much of a choice but to take it or make a mess that you will have no choice but to clean up, and you can't just clean it up with some windex and a paper towel. So you grimace and tell the truth "it smells like shit".

That is fucking funny. The worst of it is, when you are trapped like that, and someone tells you to sniff their fingers, you can't help but do it. It's like asking if anyone can smell a really rank fart. What's the first thing everyone does? That's right, they take a deep sniff of air and then roar their disapproval. Anyone with sense when asked that question would simply cover their nose or breathe through their mouth, not sniff to find out if the fart is really as nasty as someone has told you it is. I've NEVER smelled anyone else's fart and found it nice, yet even the most varnish-stripping decaying sprouter from my own anus is sweetness.

[Jason1212]

Bombtek you need to give your coworker a friendly stink palm.

[gotwtt]

i dated a whale. She was on the blubberish side.

[thunderhead]

There. Fixed it for you.

I'll only go if Shobet goes

[Rsmacker]

Auntie Shobs appears to be missing in action. I think he has an erm, real life or something.

Wilksy-Baby, I realise your job is looking pretty precarious, and that you won't be commuting to Delhi to keep your call-centre gig. With this in mind, I am prepared to offer you a substantial amount of cold hard cash to do something for me at my birthday party (and it doesn't involve bukkake or wanton bumsex. I know you'll do that for free).

I want you to simply burst out of a giant birthday cake.



Wearing a lime green mankini and covered in sparkly body paint.
Come on, think of the Warriors you can buy. I have plenty of cash.

[toejam]

Dang, I didn't even know there were this many JCF UK'ers out there. There's like what 15 scot/english/irish members posting in this thread?

and welsh

I'm half italian from my dad, but my mom's side of the family is irish/english/welsh/danish, maybe scottish, too. Could that be what's wrong with me?!? :ROTF:

[wilkinsi]

Auntie Shobs appears to be missing in action. I think he has an erm, real life or something.

Wilksy-Baby, I realise your job is looking pretty precarious, and that you won't be commuting to Delhi to keep your call-centre gig. With this in mind, I am prepared to offer you a substantial amount of cold hard cash to do something for me at my birthday party (and it doesn't involve bukkake or wanton bumsex. I know you'll do that for free).

I want you to simply burst out of a giant birthday cake.



Wearing a lime green mankini and covered in sparkly body paint.
Come on, think of the Warriors you can buy. I have plenty of cash.

Would that be monopoly money or scottish notes?

[john.w.lawson]

Auntie Shobs appears to be missing in action. I think he has an erm, real life or something.

Wilksy-Baby, I realise your job is looking pretty precarious, and that you won't be commuting to Delhi to keep your call-centre gig. With this in mind, I am prepared to offer you a substantial amount of cold hard cash to do something for me at my birthday party (and it doesn't involve bukkake or wanton bumsex. I know you'll do that for free).

I want you to simply burst out of a giant birthday cake.



Wearing a lime green mankini and covered in sparkly body paint.
Come on, think of the Warriors you can buy. I have plenty of cash.

SSSOOOO you like to eat meat, you just want it to be alive right:think::ROTF:

[gotwtt]

rsmacker is a scat guy lol

[wilkinsi]

rsmacker is a scat guy lol

Well he talks plenty of poo, fantasises about poo, posts pics of poo, so I wouldn't be surprised if he eats poo too, prolly elephant poo

[gotwtt]

I'm half italian from my dad, but my mom's side of the family is irish/english/welsh/danish, maybe scottish, too. Could that be what's wrong with me?!? :ROTF:

how spunk travels