100 Asshole degrees today and my band rehearsed.

[horns666]

It's all about the gold bond bro.

That too..

personally, my wife likes mustard on her Polish boy...and I'm not even Polish.

OOps. We shouldn't make light of Blazer's sweaty ballsack. For him..I recommend vagisil..

[AK47]

That too..

personally, my wife likes mustard on her Polish boy...and I'm not even Polish.

OOps. We shouldn't make light of Blazer's sweaty ballsack. For him..I recommend vagisil..

Bill another question...

My balls are getting cold do you think Blazer's chin would be a good place I can set them to warm them up again?

[horns666]

Bill another question...

My balls are getting cold do you think Blazer's chin would be a good place I can set them to warm them up again?

..Well, he did say he was overheated. Sure, while you're at it I'd put a Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tart on his forehead until a nice golden brown. Maybe we should all go there and cheer him up We could fry eggs and bacon on his head while we're listening to some "ferocious" 80's Genesis..:ROTF:

NO, Fuck that..let's go to his 12"X12" reheasal hot spot..it sounds like a bag o' laughs..

Man I wish I had his problems. I mean it truly sucks to be him..but I wished I had his problems.

[horns666]

Blazer's dog was at practice too..

His balls are chaffe too..

[gotwtt]

Blazer's dog was at practice too..

His balls are chaffe too..

in the summer we used to shave are dog looked funny as shit after

[horns666]

On several occasions Blazer has made unwarranted insults, snide remarks, and now questioned my profession due to my lack of empathy for willfully complying with his knowingly unfavorable rehearsal arrangements. Let me respond based on simple observations and experience as a seasoned officer. I'm highly reguarded amoung peers with more than 30+ years experience due to my keen street/people smarts and survival tactics. I will not make any accusations, but let it be known that he has posted things that do not sit well with me. Pease, I will post a few examples for your review to see if you may share any feelings of unrest.

Be advised most of Blazer's threads rarely have replies if any at all. except for the ones that I and a few others are having fun with in typical JCF style..

Example 1
______________________________

The funeral - A Donald Duck fan fiction written by Wouter Jaegers

It was a really beautiful morning at the cemetery, the sun already was rising high and a gentle breeze coupled with a temperature of around 80 degrees made for a cozy feeling. Regardless of the reason I found myself here, I couldn't help but to smile. At my side Daisy was hugging my arm but she had nothing to smile about.

In a way it was funny: my smile matched the smile of the picture I chose to use on his death print. And it also was that same picture that was sitting proudly on top of his casket. That picture depicted him as I knew him all of these years: smug, with his ever present "I'll always be better off than you are" look in his eyes. In the end though, he was proven wrong, he was born for good luck but in the end his life span was much shorter than anticipated. Heck even he himself couldn't have guessed that he would go that early.

Gladstone and I were always at each others throats, from childhood birthdays at Grandma Duck's farm until last week when he died. Gladstone always was a thorn in my side. I don't blame Aunt Daphne for trying to get me and Gladstone to get along, she was the runt of the family, my father Quackmore always told me so, Aunt Daphne was oblivious to everything that went on around her. Her husband always had money to spare so being able to think was never an issue in their household, Gladstone was the product of extreme spoiling and that miserable never ending luck of his. At those Childhood birthdays I mentioned earlier, Gladstone always got truck loads of toys while I had to settle for hand me downs from Uncle Eider because of Mom and Dad being so cheap. I suppose it was my mom's brother, Uncle Scrooge, who influenced how my childhood was going to be.

In a way I'm thankful to Uncle Scrooge for that. That rough childhood where you had to work hard to earn yourself a living had shaped me to what I am now. Gladstone never had to raise a finger to earn himself a living and I always resented him for that. But deep inside I always knew that that would get him in the end. Uncle Scrooge once told me that if he were to die I would be his heir because of me having worked my tail feathers off all my life, he really appreciated the honest-to-god hard working man I became. He told me that Gladstone's lazy ways and his "I'll always be better off attitude" were a clean signal that Gladstone would never have had the right stuff to inherit Uncle Scrooge's fortune. I'll never forget the day that Uncle Scrooge told me that, but until last week when Gladstone died I was never really sure about the truth in that statement.

I can tell you exactly where I was and what I was doing when I heard about Gladstone's passing but it was more the way that he died that caused me to raise an eyebrow. It was at Uncle Scrooge's warehouse where I was busy working my shift as a custodian for a minimum wage (but knowing that I eventually would inherit millions made the effort worth every sweat drop) when I suddenly heard a lot of commotion from the main hall. I heard screaming and shouting and suddenly the sound of a gun shot and afterward I heard even more screaming and shouting. When I went to see what's going on I saw several police officers carrying several members of the Beagle boys gang away in handcuffs. It seemed that the Beagle boys had tried yet again to pull an unsuccessful heist. But then I noticed somebody lying motionless on the floor, it was Gladstone. When I saw the images of the surveillance camera it was shown that when the Beagle boys stormed out, one of them tripped and dropped his gun which then had gone off hitting Gladstone in the back of his neck. When I was interviewed by the police they told me that the coroner said that Gladstone was lucky, he was killed instantly, no pain whatsoever. I remember rolling my eyes when I heard it, even in his final moment Gladstone had been lucky.

But the days after his accidental death it seemed as if things were finally were looking up for me. my relationship with Daisy flourished because of Gladstone not being there anymore to try to steal her away from me. And also because she was grieving about his death and I provided the listening ear and the shoulder to cry on she needed. Here I was with Daisy on my arm looking at Gladstone's casket and I was enjoying myself.

I then heard a disgruntled moan next to me and when looking up Daisy looked at me with an angry glare. "What are you smiling about?" she hissed "We are at the funeral of your cousin and you appear to be actually enjoying it!?" It was true, I was enjoying the feeling of knowing that Gladstone was gone, gone forever. But modesty and decency kept me from saying that to Daisy so I simply told her that I was feeling content with how the funeral turned out, I was the one who arranged the whole thing and with Gladstone's own fortune I was able to give him the full Monty: the best spot in the cemetery, a solid oak casket with golden leaf inlays, the best procession in the cathedral of Notre Duck and I even had money to spare after paying for all of that. Gladstone would have been proud of his own funeral and it was all my work. Because of me having worked my tail feathers off all my life, I knew how to get things going. Certainly Gladstone himself, lazy bum he was, wouldn't have been able to arrange such an ornate funeral.

Daisy nodded, Gladstone was lucky to have such a hard working cousin who stepped up and took care of things when he was needed the most. I smiled at quietly kissed her lips, she would never know how much I detested Gladstone and in a way he was lucky that it wasn't me who pulled the trigger of the gun that killed him because I'm not really sure that I would have shot him in a spot where his death would have been instant, I would have loved to see him suffer.

As we walked away from the grave Aunt Daphne spotted me, with a sad smile she told me that she was proud of me having arranged such a beautiful funeral for her son. I felt the eyes of my whole family look at me in admiration and it felt good, I endured several decades of hardship and bitter rivalry with Gladstone and in the end I came out on top of it. It was time for me to turn the page and begin a new life and Gladstone, that lucky son of a bitch, provided me with the opening that I needed.

"Everybody." I spoke up making everybody pay attention. "Today we said goodbye to a family member but to make up for the grief of our loss I want to make an announcement." After saying that, I took a moment to look around me, there was my family: Grandma Duck, my father and Mother, Aunt Daphne, Uncle Scrooge, Uncle Eider, my twin sister Della, Della's husband and my three nephews Huey, Dewey and Louis. As well as good friends such as Mickey Mouse and his girlfriend Minnie, Gyro Gearloose, Launchpad Mcquack and Goofy and his wife and son. I knew with them all witnessing this it would be a day to remember for more than just Gladstone's funeral.

"Everybody, I have thought about this for a long time and maybe this will not be the best place or the best time but I wanted everybody, my family and closest friends be there when I was going to do it." with that I retrieved a small black box from one of the pockets of my tuxedo and I went down on one knee. "Daisy, I love you, you've been such an inspiration and such a help in these difficult weeks, will you marry me?"

"Yes." came the softer than a breath reply.

Example 2
________________________

... I figured it was time to show off the differences in both the plot and the characters. Yes I'm a nerd who owns the full run of the manga and the full series on DVD.

And because of me being a nerd and knowing the series by heart, I feel obliged to point out the differences between the characters in the movie and in the series. And so here they are.

MAJOR SPOILER WARNING...

Son Goku


When Goku appears in the original series he's a ten year old boy who lives alone in the forest after the death of his adoptive Father Gohan. His ticket away is when Bulma trespasses onto the property because Goku owns a Dragonball, which he considers a cherished keep sake that reminds him of his late adoptive father. Goku goes along with Bulma because of the prospect of there being more Dragonballs like the one his late adoptive father left him. Goku who by then never knew about the fact that there are two genders is mystified by Bulma and the fact that her body is so different from his own. He develops a way to tell the gender of a person who he meets by touching them between the legs and not understanding why people go angry when he does so.

In the movie Son Goku, is a high school student who runs a karate Dojo left by his adoptive father Gohan, who's still alive in the movie but dies later on. Aside from that he has very little in common with the character from the cartoon. Goku is being picked on by the popular kids in school. He has a love interest in the person of Chichi.

speaking of which...

Chichi


Chichi first appears in Dragonball as the warrior princess daughter of Gyu-Mao (Ox King), a former student of Muten Roshi and a personal friend of Goku's adoptive Father Gohan. Chichi is then a girl in her early teens who's very shy, emotive and volatile. Chichi meets Goku when he picks her up in the desert after Gyu-Mao tells him that he send Chichi to retrieve Muten Roshi. After retrieving her, Goku does what he always does when meeting a person, checking their gender by feeling between her legs. After Chichi beats the snot out of him she begins to wonder with Goku being the first who touched her there, if he's the one she's destined to marry. She proposes and Goku, having no idea what marriage is, agrees. They meet up again later in the series when both in their late teens and Goku, who has been taught that one has to keep true with what they promise proposes to Chichi and they marry.

In the movie Chichi's royal background is completely erased, not to mention the way she fell in love with Goku after being touched by him in her intimate spot.

Bulma


When Bulma arrives on the scene of the original series she's a sixteen year old girl, who's a mechanical genius. But she's also very uncertain about herself, never having a boyfriend before and thus questioning her own physical beauty. Her reason for searching the dragonballs is to be turned into a beauty queen and having more luck with the boys. When meeting Goku, Bulma gains an unofficial little brother. When their journey takes them through the desert she meets her first love interest: Yamucha with which she had an on-off relationship until meeting Vegeta several years later.

In the movie Bulma is a loud teenager who shows up out of nowhere and drags Goku into finding the Dragonballs with her.

Yamucha (Yamcha)


In the cartoon, Yamucha is a desert bandit who survives by robbing people who pass through the desert. By living alone with only his shape shifting cat Pu-ehr as company, Yamucha has grown up with a terrible weakness towards girls, literally freezing up when one is near. His first encounter with Goku and Bulma is when they stop near an oasis and Bulma takes a nap. Goku and Yamucha start fighting after Goku thwarted Yamucha's attempt to rob them of their vehicle but the fight is cut short when Bulma awakes from all the noise of the fight and comes out of the car to see what's going on, freezing Yamucha by just appearing in front of him. Yamucha decides to follow Bulma and Goku, intrigued about the dragonballs that might cure him of his weakness towards girls. When they all are captured by Emperor Pilaf and held in the same cell Yamucha overcomes his weakness but it's only after escaping from that cell that he realizes that he doesn't need the dragonballs anymore, he and Bulma then start a relationship.

In the movie, Yamucha indeed is a bandit who redeems himself but nothing of what he is like in the cartoon.

Piccolo


In the series Piccolo came to be when a wise hermit who wanted to become guardian of the planet was told by the previous guardian that his soul had been tainted by the dormant evil in his being. And so the hermit used a special technique to split himself in two separate beings: his good side became Kami, the guardian and his evil side became Piccolo the evil king. Piccolo was defeated by master Mutahitou, the sensei of Muten Roshi, who gave up his own life to imprison Piccolo. Piccolo was then set free by Emperor Pilaf who thought that in Piccolo he would have a valuable ally in conquering the world. But Piccolo had other plans and went after Mutahitou's students because they might hold the secret technique used to imprison him, killing them one by one. Eventually after murdering both Goku's sensei Muten Roshi and Goku's training partner Kuririn (Krillin) Piccolo fought Goku and lost. Before Dying Piccolo send out a little offspring, that became the Piccolo in Dragonball Z who eventually stepped away from the evil that his father had created him for.

in the Movie Piccolo is indeed chasing and murdering the students of Mutahitou and seeing as how Goku's adoptive father Gohan is a student of Muten Roshi, he's on the hit list as well. Otherwise, there's not a lot that the cartoon Piccolo and the movie Piccolo have in common.
Well, considering what a knock out she became later in the series...



It's one of his underlings, although I have no idea which one.


It certainly isn't Tambourine.


It also can't be Cymbal


It certainly isn't Drum


Nor can it be Piano...

Example 3
________________________

Originally aired in the late seventies and early eighties, the Czech series "Pat & Mat" is a series of short episodes following two very inventive but incredibly clumsy neighbours who blunder their way through daily life's little troubles.


- Broken lightbulb? Bring out the cement mixer.

- Washing machine not working properly? A food blender will fix that.

With those two you never need to worry about your own screwed up DIY jobs, they will make you look good

Example 4
__________________

Dragonball Z picture I drew.
This is Mr Satan (Or to use the name the censors gave him: "Hercule")

Mr. Satan is the world's martial arts grand champion, and also the world's biggest liar and loud mouth. He likes nothing more but to boast about his power as a fighter and being the savior of the world. To his credit though, his actions have inadventantly saved the world twice. And while for a human being he is indeed very strong and an imposing figure being over seven foot tall. His fighting powers compared to the other characters in the series aren't really that much to brag about.

This is Mr. Satan's daughter Videl

Moreso than her father, Videl is a crime fighter who frequently helps out the police department of the city where she and her father live. She uses the fact that she's the Grand champion's daughter to her advantage, unnerving crooks just by telling them. In truth though she has far outclassed her father by being in combat constantly but because Mr. Satan doesn't train her and was never there during her fights, they both aren't aware of this fact.

In the drawing I did Videl decides to show her pop just how strong his little girl has become.


Example 5
_____________________

Let's talk about the cartoon characters that have been around for decades but if they were introduced today would not pass the strict rules of television for kids these days.


Jokey Smurf.
This is a no brainer, Jokey is a cruel person who takes delight in letting things explode into others' faces and laughing at their expense. Even more so he never learns, his terroristic ways have landed him in prison (During the "King smurf" adventure) being repeatly beaten up by the other smurfs and it even had Papa Smurf giving him house arrest. But as soon as the opportunity arises he walks out once more with his exploding giftboxes, ready to once again laugh at somebody's expense.


Donald Duck
According to the modern demographic Donald Duck would have never made it. Because he's loudmouthed violent and extremely moody. Not to mention that he's also prone on hitting his nephews with a branch if they pull something on him. He would be branded a child molester.


Jerry
Let's be honest here, Tom is not the bad guy in this cartoon. It is his job to guard the house and keep it free from vermin, his paycheck is the fact that he gets a roof over his head and that people feed him. Jerry however is a mouse one of the most unhygenic animals around, he lives in a house where he's unwanted, steals food and puts the blame all on Tom. If the object is to show Good prevailing over evil, in Tom and Jerry it's always the other way around. Jerry is making Tom's life a living hell and he's always coming out on top? Such a mean character would NEVER have a chance on today's TV.

Example 6
___________________

Eighty years of Mickey Mouse
and to celebrate it I drew a picture...




Example 7
___________________

The story of the raven and the fox retold
I'm sure we're all familiar with the story of The raven and the Fox by the French author La Fountaine


Quote:
Perch'd on a lofty oak,
Sir Raven held a lunch of cheese;
Sir Fox, who smelt it in the breeze,
Thus to the holder spoke:
"Ha! how do you do, Sir Raven?
Well, your coat, sir, is a brave one!
So black and glossy, on my word, sir,
With voice to match, you were a bird, sir,
Well fit to be the Phoenix of these days."
Sir Raven, overset with praise,
Must show how musical his croak.
Down fell the luncheon from the oak;
Which snatching up, Sir Fox thus spoke:?
"The flatterer, my good sir,
Aye liveth on his listener;
Which lesson, if you please,
Is doubtless worth the cheese."
A bit too late, Sir Raven swore
The rogue should never cheat him more.
In the seventies, this world famous fable was brought up-to-date by the equally French comic book artist Marcel Gottlib who turned it into "The Shitbird and the Fox"

Perched on a lofty oak
Sir Shitbird held a lunch of cheese
Sir Fox, who smelt it in the breeze,
Thus to the holder spoke:
"My Sir Shitbird how do you do?
I'm so fortunate to meet you
With your beautiful feathers for all to see.
Would you please sing a song for me?"
Sir Shitbird touched by so much praise
proudly raised his head into the sun's rays
Sang in order to meet the pleads
But by opening his beak dropped the cheese
The sneeky culprit with the ginger fur
Snatched the thing and said - "Well good sir.
that cheese of yours has the most awefull smell.
Here, have it back and go to hell."
Sir Shitbird quickly hopped down from the branch
retreived his cheese, he didn't mind the stench.
Cursing himself of being beaten by the punch
Sir Fox looked on as Sir Shitbird ate his lunch.

Example 8
________________

new drawing I did
Well today I was driving home from band rehearsal when all of a sudden inspiration struck and I decided to draw Daria from both Beavis & Butt-Head and "Daria" as Batman nemesis Harley Quinn.

While processing my drawing I discovered a new technique and I employed it on this drawing, the result is a far much lush look compared to my previous works.

I hope you guys like it.



Example 9
______________________________

It's a well known fact that the popularity of a comic book character comes largely from the way that particullar character looks. And sometimes those looks are so appealing that other authors decide to take those looks and apply them to one of their own characters.

Such is the Case with Storm from X-men.

Storm is a contridiction: she's an african woman with white hair and blue eyes. In her village she was known as a goddess because of her ability to control weather. Storm is a kind and caring person but also incredibly driven. As a commanding figure in the team she's always out front and demanding but inspiring the others because of her personal courage.

From the Japanese manga series "Ah! My Goddess" comes, Looks wise, one of the most blatent copies of Storm, Urd.

Urd (Pronounced "Err-doh") is the goddess of the past according to the norse mythology. Like storm she's a contradiction marrying dark skin with white hair and Blue eyes, also like Storm she usually fights by throwing lightning bolts at her opponent. Where Urd and Storm differ is in their behavior, Urd is much sassier, making good use of her sex appeal and usually having the men wrapped around her finger. Urd also has a lack of focus, often forgetting the reason why she set out to do something. Finally, Urd is a half blood being half devine and half demonic, I guess this also accounts for her mean streak.

Storm and Urd DO look like each other but they are completely different characters, Ah! My Goddess author Kosuke Fujishimi already admitted that he loves the X-men series but he wisely did not make Urd a complete copy or Storm, they share the looks but not the personality.

______________________________________


Now in all fairness Blazer seems to hold conversations in c/w guitars, but you'd think someone would get a hint posting stuff without a response..this includes his animation and his many unorthadox remakes of 80's pop songs. When you post your music you gotta roll with the bad and the good. People critqued my stuff, and instead of getting defensive, I appreciated their honestly. God forbid you do that with Blazer. You MUST either patronize him or STFU. Everyone else seems to be fair game tho..

This finally came to a head when my credibility was questioned by a dellusional fruitcake. There is no fucking way I let ANYONE talk to me that way. Are you fuggin' kiddin' me??!!

Hopefully he learned a lesson..if not, fuggums..

[SEEGERMANY]

The End!

[Grandturk]

I knew Bill had those Anime posts bookmarked for just such an occassion.

[SEEGERMANY]

The part that creeps me out is "who the fuck measured the temperature at Blazer's asshole?"

[atdguitars]

They assured him it was a calibrated medical instrument.

[gotwtt]

The part that creeps me out is "who the fuck measured the temperature at Blazer's asshole?"

Rsmacker

[SEEGERMANY]

Rsmacker

Now that I think about it, someone may have used a Scottish "meat" thermometer.

[john.w.lawson]

Your position never gives you the right to command.It only
imposes on you the duty of living your life that others can
receive your orders without being humiliated

[gotwtt]

Now that I think about it, someone may have used a Scottish "meat" thermometer.

[Flatpicker]

Just a quick shaved ball warning.
If you shave them as Horns has suggested, don't do what I did and rub some aftershave on them.
Fuggin great bawls of fire.
Spent the next 20 mins with my balls in the toilet beggin for the hand of god to come and push the handle.