Woe is me thread.

[horns666]

Let me tell you a story. It's not a happy one.

Back in mid-April, we were on a patrol. My buddy Aaron came to me before we mounted up and asked to be the gunner. He had been stuck driving since we got in country and wanted a shot on the gun. I let him take my spot and I drove. Nothing happened for about 5 hours until we hit two IED's on our way back to our COP. The first one took out the first HMMWV in our convoy and the second hit my vehicle. The blast killed Aaron instantly. I have spent every day kicking myself in the ass over that. He had just gotten married back in October and had a baby girl on the way. To know that I should have died made me not eat. I would go days without eating and would have to literally pass out for me to sleep. My platoon sergeant thought I was going to kill myself. I almost did, actually, and have the scars to prove it.

What works for me is talking to people. Like Joel said, meet random people and talk to them. Do random things just for the hell of it. It might seem weird, but I started making friends with guys in other squads and even our interpreters who are Afghan locals. It makes me feel better to laugh again. Nothing will ever take away the guilt I feel over Aaron, but I use every day as another chance to do some good for others. I owe him that much.

"It's better to die on your feet than live on your knees." - Emiliano Zapata
-David

PS- Make life your bitch.

You grew up fast young man. I've lost so many peers ..I've lost count. But I like your attitude, it's inspiring. When I leave this world ..I'll be laughing. I promise I will have a smile on my face when it's my time. But I laugh at everything..I'm silly like that...or crazy..or both.

I'm going to make life and death my bitch..

[horns666]

BTW look at my sig..you see that. Remember him?..I always will. He was laughing in my ear on the phone the night before he passed..he was 23 years old.

[bombtek]

Guys I really appreciate what all of you shared. I wanted to "quote" a reply to the first post after my original one, but decided to read a bit further on. Boy, am I glad I didn't do the quote thing . I wanted to reply to each and every one of you guys on this thread,.......but I'm a lazy fuck .

In all seriousness though.
thank you All of you.
from the bottom of my heart,
Thank you


You guys are the bees knees.
WTF does that mean anyway???

[bombtek]

I am following some of you guys' advice. Already was doing some stuff before I typed my initial sob story. I just really wanted to vent in some way and this forum provided that outlet..........I was sreaming out my problems via a keyboard, because I did not want to explode here at home literally. I was not looking for any responses, but again, thank you guys for responding the way that you did.

[horns666]

I am following some of you guys' advice. Already was doing some stuff before I typed my initial sob story. I just really wanted to vent in some way and this forum provided that outlet..........I was sreaming out my problems via a keyboard, because I did not want to explode here at home literally. I was not looking for any responses, but again, thank you guys for responding the way that you did.

I do the same damn thing bro..can't you tell??

That's what we're here for..

You're a good dude..I always knew that.

My kid wanted me to teach him Eruption..the tapping part. He's got it down..he just needs to work on it.

[SEEGERMANY]

Here's the best advice I can give. Next time you're feeling low, have little self-esteem, no real friends, and the flea market is your home away from home, just think of fett and you'll be fine!

[SEEGERMANY]

P.S. A good "POOP" will clear your head too!

[Jack Napalm]

I was not looking for any responses, but again, thank you guys for responding the way that you did.

Okay, I figured you were just venting a little when I first saw this but now I think you do need to get your head checked.

Posting here is going to get you a response. You should know better than that by now ya knucklehead. :ROTF:

Seems to me you had some motivation to post about it. Channel that energy into something else and you might be surprised where it takes you.

[Flatpicker]

but I'm a lazy fuck .

We're all lazy fucks actually. At least that's what she tells me.


I think I should be practicing or something. Ahh fuck it. I got some strong stout in the fridge.

My hand hurts anyway. gonna have to try to use the other one.

[bombtek]

Let me tell you a story. It's not a happy one.

Back in mid-April, we were on a patrol. My buddy Aaron came to me before we mounted up and asked to be the gunner. He had been stuck driving since we got in country and wanted a shot on the gun. I let him take my spot and I drove. Nothing happened for about 5 hours until we hit two IED's on our way back to our COP. The first one took out the first HMMWV in our convoy and the second hit my vehicle. The blast killed Aaron instantly. I have spent every day kicking myself in the ass over that. He had just gotten married back in October and had a baby girl on the way. To know that I should have died made me not eat. I would go days without eating and would have to literally pass out for me to sleep. My platoon sergeant thought I was going to kill myself. I almost did, actually, and have the scars to prove it. I've cried almost every day since I've came home on mid-tour. Hell, I'm stuffed up right now.

What works for me is talking to people. Like Joel said, meet random people and talk to them. Do random things just for the hell of it. It might seem weird, but I started making friends with guys in other squads and even our interpreters who are Afghan locals. It makes me feel better to laugh again. Nothing will ever take away the guilt I feel over Aaron, but I use every day as another chance to do some good for others. I owe him that much.

"It's better to die on your feet than live on your knees." - Emiliano Zapata
-David

PS- Make life your bitch.

I really sorry to hear about your friend and fellow warrior. I feel for you.

I personally never had to deal with the IED's, but I lost two good friends (three if you read all of this and understand).

I was Army EOD (Explosive Ordnance Disposal), and its our job to go and disarm these IED's , by hand if need be.

Yeah sometimes it is just like the cool bomb squad BS you see in the movies, but honestly, if you get "the" call....your butthole clamps shut so tight that you couldn't squeak a fart out . You do remember that you are a professional, but you also remember (if you're smart) that you're mortal, and these things can end you.

Anyways, I lost my friend a good friend , a good soldier, and a damn fine EOD tech, Fucking thing blew up via remote control......they were watching him start to work on it..they were targeting whoever was going to try and mess with their bomb, and they blew it and him up...bastards.

I lost my a friend . She went downrange to disarm an IED. again they were watching. Except they were trickier this time. The IED she was working on was the one that would have taken out a humvee, truck, or any type of transport......the one that got her was cleverly concealed within a telephone pole ....less than 10 feet from the one she was working on.

I bet they were high fiving and fucking praising Allah when they hit the fucking switch as her back was turned.

She died in her husbands arms in a fucking Iraqi hospital.
They were both in the same unit. He is/was a bomb tech too.

Her husband is the third friend I lost.

They killed a part of him that day with that IED as well. He was not the same person after that.

EOD is such a small community in the Army. When I got out, there was less than 800 of us Army wide. Eventually, you pretty much ran into each tech somewhere along the line. On VIPs, ARTEPS, Deployments.....whatever. Chances are, if you were ARMY EOD, you knew at least someone in EVERY other Army EOD unit in the world.

The last time I saw my friend (first one that got killed) we were both in different unit, but both of us were on the same VIP mission and searching the Presidents hotel room for possible threats. We were laughing it up and having a great time ....and three months later he was dead. I miss him...Hell I miss all of the good friends I made.

Maybe that is why I am in such a funk. I miss the excitement of what I did. The fun of it all most times. The comraderie (sp?). Wish that life was always like that.

Got a funny story that you might appreciate. If you managed to read all of this crap so far keep reading, You'll get a chuckle.

EOD works hand in hand with the Secret Service on a regular basis. I've met two presidents while in office, and a foremer one. We wear business suits, have the suit sleeve microphone for comms ...all of that stuff. Anyways our primary purpose on these missions is to locate, and disarm any explosive threats if any occur.

One time my team leader and myself were searching the president's hotel room , but my team leader didn't really care for the president. Didn't mean that he would not do his job as throughly as possible, it just meant that he didn't like the guy (and from what I saw ...how he treated the guys that were assigned to proetect him...eventually didn't like him either).

We were working with an Airforce dog/dog handler that my Team leader knew from way back. We got to the room and my team leader got the handler to let him take the dog. He had the dog jump up on the bed...wrapped the blankets and sheets around him and played...the dog LOVED it .

My team leader looked at me and said watch the speach tomorrow on TV after we're done.

I did and started laughing my ass off. Unfortunately, the poor guy had very bad allergies to long haired dog fur. ..... his eyes were beat red, he had uncontrollable sniffles and just plain looked miserable.

Ahhh good times

[bombtek]

Holy crap...if my wife saw all of this, she'd be jealous, I don't talk that much in three days !

[DRM]

Fuckin dog hair. :ROTF:

We've had EOD come out for controlled det's at our COP a few times. Always liked working with them and respected you for what you do. We talk shit on the line about POG's, but you EOD have balls for sure.

-David

[bombtek]

Fuckin dog hair. :ROTF:

We talk shit on the line about POG's, but you EOD have balls for sure.

-David

Nah, We just weren't smart enough to get a desk job :lol

You think the dog hair was funny?....

We would have to search all of the bags for the press. Just so that no one would use their press creds to get at the president.

There was more than a few times that you'd see ...err ....umm ...knicknacks?.. that a female would use on a lonley night

Cough cough connie cough chung cough



You'd be looking through the stuff ...see it and you can't help but chuckle...the owner is right in front of you...you can't help but look at them when you see it...

they just raise a brow ..shrug their shoulders...sometimes smile and take their bag back when you're done....complete professionals

[bombtek]

Also some weed always seemed to help me shake the funk off so to speak

I wish

If I were is California, ........I MIGHT be able to get away with it. Not here i Maryland yet.

I work for the Government, hold a security clearance, and deal with some shit that you really, really do not want to touch.
Needless to say, I get drug tested on a regular basis. If THC were to show up on a test....there goes my clearance, MS patient or not.

[bombtek]

Oh and just to keep you all updated on my disposition...

I've found a new and fantastic way to bring my spirits up....works great, it's a challenge to find sometimes (good stuff anyway) which makes it all that much more worthwhile, and in reality it can turn into a neverending quest to find the best of the best.

God Bless Pornography and the internet, its a match made in heaven.

ExtremeKream is my favorite of the day