Woe is me thread.

[bombtek]

If you don't feel like reading a post with someone bitching and moaning, skip this thread. It ain't for you .

Ever since being diagnosed with MS, and dealing with the every other day treatments, I have zero motivation right now for anything in my life.

I have two GREAT kids and an awesome wife that I absolutely adore, and they should not have to deal with my miserable attitude, because I have no doubt that they can feel it and it affects them in some way.

I just CANNOT shake it.

I've tried believe me I've tried.

Buying gear....did it, brought me out of my funk the day it arrived, the next day and pretty much every day after it sits unused. My gear is more of a fukkin decoration than a fun hobby as of late.

Motorcycling again....did it, brought me out of my funk for all of about an hour (if that). Too much a hassle to get all of my stuff together. A novelty helmet and sunglasses is everything I have to get together....but stil, I don't feel like its worth the hassle.

Put down a new hardwood floor upstairs. Looks fukkin GREAT!!!!!! But I couldn't care less really.

I'm not from the area I live in, I came here because I was offered an incredibly well paying job that I was absolutely suited for. You'd think that would bring my some amount of happiness..not really.

I have aquaintences (sp?), not friends here. Just people I work with. Can't remember the last time I went over someone else's house just hang out with them. Would love to find someone to get together and jam with......if I was any good at playing guitar.

I just wish that I could snap out of it and be fukking happy again. Right now feeling this way (for a really long fucking time) sucks big hairy sweaty ballsacks.


Feeling this way fukkin bites, but I don't know how to shake it.

Just needed an outlet to get this crap off of my chest cuz its really weighing me down. So I typed it here.

Don't pay any attention to it.

OK pity rant over.

[YetAnotherOne]

Wish there was something I could say to help but I know there isn't. Happiness is an internal thing and sometimes I think it's the toughest thing in life to achieve and hold on to. If you have great kids, a great wife, and a solid marriage you're already doing pretty much everything right. That sort of track record is also among the toughest things in life to achieve and speaks volumes about what sort of person you are.

Since there's nothing I can really say to help I'll at least say thanks, it seems appropriate today. IIRC you were headed over to the sandbox a few years back; I'm glad you made it back safely but I'm even more glad you were willing to go. So from one American who wasn't heroic enough to go to the far better man: thank you for your service.

I'd come by & buy you a beer or slap you around until you cheered up or something but I'm too far away.

[atdguitars]

Just know you're not the only one that feels like it.. 100+ guitars to my name.. a thriving business...great kids..and know exactly how you feel.
I'm sure neither you or I are the only ones here that know what its like.

[Flatpicker]

Sorry to hear it man.
I haven't had MS, but, had been diagnosed as depressed in the past and it sounds like what you are describing.
Buying anything isn't gonna fill the void.
I'd suggest contacting a therapist or something like that.

Even if you don't believe in stuff like that, sometimes, just having a place to talk it out and walk away from it after an hr can help. It's an impartial place to vent and not have it affecting the family.

[toxikdeth]

Money can't buy happiness

[Joelski]

Sometimes ya just gotta say "fuck it". Okay, you have MS; that sucks and it's a drag, but at the end of the day, you also have a kickass family, a great joob and lots of cool gear that I bet you're better at playing than you give yourself credit for given the funk you're in. I have a long list of fucked up health problems and if I didn't learn to live life day by day, I'd be in the same spot you are. My job as a paramedic taught me that no matter how bad I feel, no matter how low I get, things are always worse for somebody else and that I should feel fortunate and appreciative for what I have and am.

All you have to do is look around a little bit. Live life with the notion that you are going to learn something new every day. Speak to strangers. Do people favors for no personal gain. These things help boost you up. Stop dwelling on things you can't control and take an active role in making your existence fun and meaningful. Sometimes anti-depressants are the answer, but the main part is accepting and moving on rather than waiting for life to happen. One of the cool things about MS is that the more fun you have, the less power it has over you (as in remission). This can be true of any illness as long as one has their head right. Please don't be offended by anything I've said as I am in a very similar situation and deal with those very same feelings. My approach is to tell them blues to fuck off and quit harshin my buzz! As cliched as it may be, you really do have to make an effort to get the fuck out and smell the roses, but the better you become at not letting bad stuff intrude on your well-deserved good time, the easier it is to remain happy. Good luck and good cheer!

[horns666]

Dude, I have so many blessings in my life that I can NOT appreciated due to severe chronic, physical and emotional pain. But that's not the bad part. Not only am I going to get worse..my wife will be in a wheelchair in a few years.

I do my best for their sake. But if "they" wern't in my life and need me. I wouldn't be here now talking with you bro. I would just go away.

Dude..you paid your dues. You are a man. You take care of biz. You have every right in the world to bitch and moan.

I bought a Cobra in 2005 to put a smile on my face. It hass less than 600 miles on it. I have 6 guitars that are still new in their cases that I will never play. I'm on a medical merry-go-round that will never end.

You know what the problem is. We are too realistic for our own good. We are cynical because we know what the real world is like. My doctor always tells me I'm the only patient in 50 years that he says "Denial would be a good thing for you". That applies to you too man.

Ironically, my profession was questioned on another member's "pity" thread because of my lack of empathy. Maybe he should read this thread to see what REAL problems are. Instead of sharing tales of stupidity and insignicant bullshit. ..like nothing but a sweaty ballsack.

One day at a time bro..some will be better than others. Once in a while you'll find yourself laughing..that's a good moment. I wish you all of those moments you can possibly have.

Take Care,

Bill Z

[horns666]

Sometimes ya just gotta say "fuck it". Okay, you have MS; that sucks and it's a drag, but at the end of the day, you also have a kickass family, a great joob and lots of cool gear that I bet you're better at playing than you give yourself credit for given the funk you're in. I have a long list of fucked up health problems and if I didn't learn to live life day by day, I'd be in the same spot you are. My job as a paramedic taught me that no matter how bad I feel, no matter how low I get, things are always worse for somebody else and that I should feel fortunate and appreciative for what I have and am.

All you have to do is look around a little bit. Live life with the notion that you are going to learn something new every day. Speak to strangers. Do people favors for no personal gain. These things help boost you up. Stop dwelling on things you can't control and take an active role in making your existence fun and meaningful. Sometimes anti-depressants are the answer, but the main part is accepting and moving on rather than waiting for life to happen. One of the cool things about MS is that the more fun you have, the less power it has over you (as in remission). This can be true of any illness as long as one has their head right. Please don't be offended by anything I've said as I am in a very similar situation and deal with those very same feelings. My approach is to tell them blues to fuck off and quit harshin my buzz! As cliched as it may be, you really do have to make an effort to get the fuck out and smell the roses, but the better you become at not letting bad stuff intrude on your well-deserved good time, the easier it is to remain happy. Good luck and good cheer!

That was nice Joel. After trying 6 different anti-depressants. Zanax is the only one that worked for me. Unfortrunately most doctors are afraid to prescribe them and put you on some bullshit like Topamax. This shit cost almost $300 (for 120) and I quit after my third dose. I'm bringing him the bottle and telling him to give them to a patient who needs them and can't afford them. They made me feel 100 times worse, and my legs got really swollen..WTF??!

[Joelski]

That was nice Joel. After trying 6 different anti-depressants. Zanax is the only one that worked for me. Unfortrunately most doctors are afraid to prescribe them and put you on some bullshit like Topamax. This shit cost almost $300 (for 120) and I quit after my third dose. I'm bringing him the bottle and telling him to give them to a patient who needs them and can't afford them. They made me feel 100 times worse, and my legs got really swollen..WTF??!

I'm doing okay with Celexa and Klonopin. With a fucking brain tumor and the liver disease that whiped out Sweetness, I need a lot of chillin out. People call me hermit, but after dealing with the public 5 days worth of long hours the last thing I want to do is go somewhere a woman wants to drag me to, but after I sack up and just do it, I usually find I had some fun. Add to that the pain... Yeah, it's work at getting out and doing stuff, but it beats the fuck out of sittin home feelin sorry for myself.

[Endrik]

Time for operation Spiritual Headace-o-Rama.

You buy a ticket to India, you tell your family that you are going for a spiritual journey to find happiness and true meaning of life.
You a hook up with a gang of hippies. You smoke weed all day, listen to Ravi Shankar and meditate using the Boobnotize technique. What you do is just stare at the boobies of a Hindu dancer, she is shaking them around like a snake, you just ooze in, until you get into the zone, then you'll be out there, in your own special world, eventually you'll find happiness... in Hindu dancers ass that is....

but seriously a friend of mine in LA has a MS and doctors prescribed medical marijuana for him... of course he has his own stash too. It helped him a lot and besides it helps to calm down anyway... so do some research on that. Maybe helps.

[VitaminG]

Sorry to hear it man.
I haven't had MS, but, had been diagnosed as depressed in the past and it sounds like what you are describing.
Buying anything isn't gonna fill the void.
I'd suggest contacting a therapist or something like that.

Even if you don't believe in stuff like that, sometimes, just having a place to talk it out and walk away from it after an hr can help. It's an impartial place to vent and not have it affecting the family.

+1
a therapist, or even just your GP. You may not need antidepressants either. You said the MS & treatment is knocking you about, but it could be a chemical imbalance, and righting that chemical deficiency could help you get your head back on straight.

Acupuncture may help too.

I know your situation is different to my own, but when I was diagnosed with depression, the logical me told me how blessed my life really is, with a family that loves me, a decent income, roof over my head; how things could be much worse; & when you look at how tough some other folks have it, how fortunate I really am. But at the end of the day, none of that makes you feel any better. It can actually make you feel worse because you end up asking yourself "why are you being such a miserable fuck when other people have it much worse than me".

Go speak to someone. Have them run some tests. If it's not chemical, you can at least rule that out and find a therapist that can help you through it. Don't try to ride it out alone, for the sake of your family or whatever. You might be miserable now & not want to subject them to it, but your family wants their old dad back. Don't wait to get help.

[horns666]

+1
a therapist, or even just your GP. You may not need antidepressants either. You said the MS & treatment is knocking you about, but it could be a chemical imbalance, and righting that chemical deficiency could help you get your head back on straight.

Acupuncture may help too.

I know your situation is different to my own, but when I was diagnosed with depression, the logical me told me how blessed my life really is, with a family that loves me, a decent income, roof over my head; how things could be much worse; & when you look at how tough some other folks have it, how fortunate I really am. But at the end of the day, none of that makes you feel any better. It can actually make you feel worse because you end up asking yourself "why are you being such a miserable fuck when other people have it much worse than me".

Go speak to someone. Have them run some tests. If it's not chemical, you can at least rule that out and find a therapist that can help you through it. Don't try to ride it out alone, for the sake of your family or whatever. You might be miserable now & not want to subject them to it, but your family wants their old dad back. Don't wait to get help.

Gary, you have no idea how much I really connected with this. My father often tells me what you just said verbatim. It got to the point where I don't vent to him anymore because he'll just say that again..and I know he loves me..he's my father. But it actually makes me feel worse.

I try..I really try for my wife and son. I fly off the handle alot. I'm not really yelling at them..I'm just venting. But I can see that sometimes makes them misearble, so I really curbed that alot. Whevever I'm in a bad mood I kinda keep to myself, and I come here.

Lately, I've been in such a funk. I haven't been here that much either. I hope nobody thinks I'm ignoring them. My head has just been in a F'd up place and that Topamax did NOT help matters ..that crap was a nightmare for me.

What a dickhole doctor. He refuses to give me zanax that I've been on for year and helps, and puts me on a drug with the main side effect is depression and thoughts of suicide..WTF??!!:think:

I'm asking him I see him.."Is it possible that you read some of my medical/psyche reports before putting me on this crap."

[AK47]

Was feeling depressed then shaved my balls based on a fellow jcfers recommendation.

Then I set them on some whiney guys chin and things were better...temporarly.

Need moar pain meds... they make things better. Life should qualify as chronic pain so everyone can get pain meds.

[horns666]

Was feeling depressed then shaved my balls based on a fellow jcfers recommendation.

Then I set them on some whiney guys chin and things were better...temporarly.

Need moar pain meds... they make things better. Life should qualify as chronic pain so everyone can get pain meds.

Yep, I tore someone a new A hole..just one thread away!

That was like great therapy for me..

[Strangletooth]

Dude, seriously?

You said the magic word in the 3rd line of your pity party! Come on man, look at your kids! Do something they want to do, put a smile on "their" face! Live in their shoes for a day, week, month! Take them to school, go have breakfast with them, take them out of school early and go fishing, take them on a bike ride, teach them how to play guitar, take them swimming, don't be a bitch with your kids, if anything can put a smile on your face, it has to be your kids! Kids are the most powerful healing tool there is, now go fuggin wake em up and go somewhere!

School's almost out, plan something cool for their first day of summer break, and run with it! Pack up the car and drive to the mountains for a week, go to the beach, do something spontaneous and make it fun. There's way too many things to do in this world...

As the good Doc once said.... 'Nuff said...

Best!