Woe is me thread.

[Top Jimmy B]

Some very good advice here and it may be good advice for you too, bombtek. Battling depression on its own is a tough battle, but when you add a serious illness to the mix depression can be deadly. I really have nothing to add to what's been said above but to tell you things can be better if you look for a way to make it better. Dragging your ass off the couch, or out of bed, is the first step and often the most difficult.

Take a good long look at your children, take them in your arms and use their love for you as motivation to talk to someone about what you're feeling. Your doctor, a shrink, family member...there are more people out there willing to listen than you probably want to believe. You can get over this, man. You're in my thoughts

[SEEGERMANY]

This thread has the potential of being the biggest motherfucker of all time!

[markD]

i have epilepsy, brain damage and a loss of motor function from a head trauma. i felt the same way you are for a long time. i realized i could never get rid of any of these results of my head injury. you have something that i don't, something that pat mentioned that CAN make a huge difference - family. i am alone, except for my dog, and had MANY days of pity parties, tears, lack of understanding, blaming whomever i could (though there was NO ONE to blame - i fell when no one was around)....

i was ANGRY that my guitar playing suffered, that i walk funny, that i can barely write. that it takes me FOREVER to type becuase i have to use one finger...i was angry that, though i am an educated person and a teacher, i have developed dyslexic-like tendencies where i flip letters or read things wrong. i was angry that i forgot what happened the day beofre - not just a little bit, but TOTALLY draw blanks, like the day never existed....the optical nerve in my left eye is seriously damaged, i am practicaly blind in that eye and i get MASSIVE headaches from it. i still have small egg-shell shaped fractures on the front left portion of my skull that will never heal....

i think yuo get the idea.

i take A LOT of meds. my doctors have me on barbituates (dilatin) for my epilepsy, depakote for seizures AND mood stabilization, ambien for sleep, and valium to calm my nerves. i take thusands of mg's of pills per day - to some that would be no big deal. to me it sucks, because i believe in holistic remedies and abhor the idea of drug use, prescreibed or not. because of the constant increase in my drug levels, my liver is sressed out. my cadre of doctors told that my death will 95% be caused by liver failure. yay. so much for my clean living lifestyle!!!

at the end of the day, i just realized i can't change it. this is who i am now. i am sure the meds help, but a lot of it came odwn to me. i HAD to choose to be happy or dwell on something i can't control. once i made that decision, and talking to a therapist helped, i have moved to a place in my life where i AM happy.

do what pat said. take the kids out. live for them a bit. follow some of the excellent, practical advice given by your peers/friends here and elsewhere. ignore the douchery. in the end, just live your life to the fullest and TRY to embrace your MS as much as you can. easier said than done, but TRY.....

[Spivonious]

Take some time off of work, go back to your hometown for a bit, reconnect with old friends. Being diagnosed with something like MS is a major blow. You need time to adjust.

[markD]

dude, i am coming to MD in a couple of weeks. if you wanna get together PM me and we can jam or something. just let me know ahead of time and i'll bring a guitar. could be cool. i am heading up june 7.

[john.w.lawson]

Death is a small price to pay for a life fully lived.

Too bad inspirational words will not help when you suffer from dysphoric disorder. A lot of times, medications can make it worse. Klonopins are good silly pills, but not as good as Vallum or Xanax. Just make sure that you stay away from booze. Maybe get off this board for a few days and get out in the sun. The sunlight can have a great positive effect on mood disorders. Speaking with loved ones about your fears can also help greatly. Even though, as a man, it is hard to share, it is a necessity.

[Shawn Lutz]

For sure talk to your doctor and go get some treatment for depression. Who knows it could be a temporary bout that may pass. I agree with what others have said about spending time with your kids and family. Also some weed always seemed to help me shake the funk off so to speak

Ultimately you will be the key, coming here and getting opinions proves that you are looking for options and solutions. You can beat this with a little help from your friends, family and God

[atomic charvel guy]

When I think I have it hard, I keep thinking about the plights of jimmy B, Bill, now Mark D and yourself and I see that I'm in the drivers seat. I can't fathom what it's like to have conditions like that so I may not be any help here. buddies go a long way though, I wish you had some real friends near you in your new town as opposed to just acquaintences. After i got in the trouble I did, what was killing me in the beginning was the lack of friends around as i had surrounded myself with only "drug' friends and we all know what they're like. They scattered to the winds but in the end that was the best thing for me. My real friends came around once i did and it's making all the difference. Wish I was near you, I'd cheer you up. I hate when people are feeling down, laughing is the best medicine I've come to find. You have every reason to feel down though, you'll come around, I know it.

[atomic charvel guy]

in regards to mr. Lawson's post, he is right, it's a medical fact that the sunlight triggers the chemicals in your brain that make you smile.

[horns666]

You guys are awesome..

...and I love you!

In the most manly of ways!!

[Rsmacker]

You guys are awesome..

...and I love you!

In the most manly of ways!!

And I always had you down as a secret receiver. Strange innit?

[SEEGERMANY]

"Wo is me!"

[Leo Chang]

Wow... a salute to all the people who deal with such challenges on a daily basis, and doing their best to do the right thing for themselves and their families


I am sure some of you have already investigated alternatives to Western Medicine, but just in case you haven't . . . please do.

*if you already have... no need to read further *

I come from a family that strongly believes in western medicine (dad is a western doc), and I still highly respect it. In fact, I just came back from a checkup with my family doc minutes before writing this post. However, western medicine has been severely limited by its almost purely materialist approach to healing.

I used to believe only in western medicine, and thought that all other forms of "healing" were just BS... until my doctor told me that my right wrist and my right knee may never heal from a sports injury. That meant I might not be able to play guitar or do martial arts ever again.

Worst point... my right wrist was in so much pain that I could not even lift a single piece of regular A4 paper, and I almost couldn't walk.

There was not much that even the best specialists in town could do... and the limited means at their disposal all produce what I consider to be unacceptable side effects.

That forced me to turn to TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) and acupuncture. I also started reading about various forms of energy healing and how adjustments at the mental / spiritual level is absolutely critical to permanent healing.

Acupuncture helped immensely... got me back to about 75% full function in a few sessions (no side effects either!), and once I got the mental / spiritual adjustments in place, I literally got to 95% recovery over night.

These days, if a health issue comes up, I always go to my western family doc first for an accurate diagnosis in western terms. Then I use the other modalities of healing available to me for the actual healing.

Of course, just as western medicine has its limitations... all other modalities of healing have theirs as well. If you have already looked into them and found them not to your liking / not applicable to your situation, that's fine, there is still a lot one can do within the western medicine framework.

But if you haven't looked into alternative modalities of healing... please do, because you just may find the solution to your current medical challenges

And hey, if western medicine hasn't been producing the kind of results you would like to see... what have you got to lose? :idea:


Hope that helps.


- Leo.

[Joelski]

The mind is the strongest healing influence there is. I have witnesses this over and over in patients who choose to either "shut down", or to ignore their symptoms. The ones who resign themselves to being controlled by their illness pretty much determine a poor prognosis. The people who refuse to allow an illness or disability take over their lives are able to enjoy their life to their fullest potential.

[DRM]

Let me tell you a story. It's not a happy one.

Back in mid-April, we were on a patrol. My buddy Aaron came to me before we mounted up and asked to be the gunner. He had been stuck driving since we got in country and wanted a shot on the gun. I let him take my spot and I drove. Nothing happened for about 5 hours until we hit two IED's on our way back to our COP. The first one took out the first HMMWV in our convoy and the second hit my vehicle. The blast killed Aaron instantly. I have spent every day kicking myself in the ass over that. He had just gotten married back in October and had a baby girl on the way. To know that I should have died made me not eat. I would go days without eating and would have to literally pass out for me to sleep. My platoon sergeant thought I was going to kill myself. I almost did, actually, and have the scars to prove it. I've cried almost every day since I've came home on mid-tour. Hell, I'm stuffed up right now.

What works for me is talking to people. Like Joel said, meet random people and talk to them. Do random things just for the hell of it. It might seem weird, but I started making friends with guys in other squads and even our interpreters who are Afghan locals. It makes me feel better to laugh again. Nothing will ever take away the guilt I feel over Aaron, but I use every day as another chance to do some good for others. I owe him that much.

"It's better to die on your feet than live on your knees." - Emiliano Zapata
-David

PS- Make life your bitch.