My wife is on her period

[horns666]

I hate that!

[horns666]

Oh yeah, she's having very bad PMS (Pre Murder Syndrome)..

I wanna run away from home for 5 days.

[Hellbat]

I used to have a roomate (with benefits) that PMS'ed really badly. She wouldn't get violent though she'd just start bawling (as opposed to balling) with huge gushing tearfilled emotional outbursts.
Once I got brave and was like "WTF are you crying about?!?" and her answer was "I DON'T KNOW!!!" followed by another gallon or two of tears.

At that moment I cupped my balls and thanked god I was born a man.

[Soap]

At that moment I cupped my balls and thanked god I was born a man.

That's beautiful.

[Rsmacker]

I hate that!

I love that!

Firstly, the coppery taste, that makes you immediately pretend to be a shark or a grizzly bear (tasting the blood 3 parts in a million or whatever). Try saying "Hmmmm, yum yum" in a Honey Monster voice, as you savage her snatch.
Then, loads of laughs as you emerge from her growler looking like something from Evil Dead.

And of course, if she's not up for any of that, she's got a perfectly good exit pipe that can be used whilst she is up on the blocks. Tell her "Listen pet, it's gonna be messy either way, which is it to be?"
I find getting my Red Wings always needs plenty of lube though, spit doesn't quite cover it.

As for PMS, well, that's what girlfriends were invented for. The Mrs will understand, once you tell her it's Nature's way, that you will just go to Candy's house for some fun until the painters have finished at home, no problem.*





*This may result in serious testicular trauma, no responsibility will be taken by Dr "Brownthumb" Rsmacker, Sex Therapist to the Stars. Proceed at own risk!

[Super_shredder]

I love that!

Firstly, the coppery taste, that makes you immediately pretend to be a shark or a grizzly bear (tasting the blood 3 parts in a million or whatever). Try saying "Hmmmm, yum yum" in a Honey Monster voice, as you savage her snatch.
Then, loads of laughs as you emerge from her growler looking like something from Evil Dead.

And of course, if she's not up for any of that, she's got a perfectly good exit pipe that can be used whilst she is up on the blocks. Tell her "Listen pet, it's gonna be messy either way, which is it to be?"
I find getting my Red Wings always needs plenty of lube though, spit doesn't quite cover it.

As for PMS, well, that's what girlfriends were invented for. The Mrs will understand, once you tell her it's Nature's way, that you will just go to Candy's house for some fun until the painters have finished at home, no problem.*





*This may result in serious testicular trauma, no responsibility will be taken by Dr "Brownthumb" Rsmacker, Sex Therapist to the Stars. Proceed at own risk!

if the river runs red , take the dirt track

[Rsmacker]

Or just chop and change from one to the other, it confuses any Injun trackers who may be following you.


Apparently.

[OnlineStageGear]

Fear anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die !!

[horns666]

Fear anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die !!

This is true!! But I did not have this logic when I met my young wife. Ya see was only 16 when we met. I could only see her on the weekends and were in complete lust! Well she was in love and I was in lust, and love too. No menstrual flow could stop me. If I didn't get any, I had to wait a entire week before I could. So in the heat of passion. I indulged in her cherry pie. Ohhh man..once I made a complete mess of my bed. There was no way I could let my mom see that. I tried washing it..no luck!!! The plain white sheet now looked like a pink floral pattern..it was kinda pretty really. So I had to throw it away. I'll never forget the prints it left where we were doin' it..it looked exactly like butterflies.

Y'know..I prolly could sell those as designer sheets with butterfly and floral patterns. Asshole people would buy those now...hmmmm.:think: :idea:

I would never do that now. At that time I didn't care about a faceful of pie!! She's much too convienent now for anything like that!!!

I remeber drinking on dates and and kepy making love as they spewed. Once in the bathroom sink, and once at a wedding reception while we we lying in the backseat of my dad's black buick 225. Her head was out the door spewing like the exorcist as we were in mid boink. She insisted to keep going..well, OK then.

[Snoogans]

we were lying in the backseat of my dad's black buick 225. Her head was out the door spewing like the exorcist as we were in mid boink. She insisted to keep going..well, OK then.

...and they say that romance is dead!

[horns666]

...and they say that romance is dead!

I know..I'm a real schmoozer..

I love to make love..even if my girl is embarassed by throwing up. I just pretend like it never happened, and not let something as petty as that ruin the passion.

Now, that's love..

[butrus]

Do you know why women have period?













Well,
they drink blood from men all month long,so have to let it out once a month