Massive shite

[MartinBarre]

Have you ever went for a dump and done such a big, fucking enormous shite that it gets stuck in the toilet and won't flush away?
I did one a few hours ago and the bastard's still there. Every time I go for a piss it's there, smiling at me.

If I can't get rid of the fucker before the wife comes home the shit will hit the fan. Hopefully not literally although that might be one way to get rid of it.

[Jason1212]

In America we have enough water pressure to get rid of the biggest log jams imaginable.

[Vass]

Sometimes you just have to go in there and break it up with a fork.


Once in a while I'll crush one out that sticks out of the water. I keep expecting to see a frog hop on it like a lily pad.

[MartinBarre]

Sometimes you just have to go in there and break it up with a fork.


Once in a while I'll crush one out that sticks out of the water.

Seriously?

[Mr.Shreddy]

:ROTF: that was hilarious

[missionguitars1]

Did you post to http://www.ratemypoo.com/?

I like the ones with the flags in them...

:ROTF:

[MakeAJazzNoiseHere]

Yeah, a few months back we had company at the house & I got up about 8, had 2 cups of coffee, and proceded to crap this thing the size of a 2-year-old's leg, I think it was a good 45 seconds of turd coming out.

So, I go to flush it and it's going nowhere. I try the plunger, it ain't budging. My guests are in the room right next to the bathroom, so I'm like "fuck, why today?" and I'm pouring buckets of the hottest water I can get out of the faucet into the crapper and watching it slowly drain, plunging, more hot water, plunging... 45 minutes into this bullshit, it finally clears.

And, the sad part is, that isn't the first time (or last time) this scenario has occurred at my house. I eat plenty of fiber, but continue to crap cement logs.

[MartinBarre]

Yeah, a few months back we had company at the house & I got up about 8, had 2 cups of coffee, and proceded to crap this thing the size of a 2-year-old's leg, I think it was a good 45 seconds of turd coming out.

So, I go to flush it and it's going nowhere. I try the plunger, it ain't budging. My guests are in the room right next to the bathroom, so I'm like "fuck, why today?" and I'm pouring buckets of the hottest water I can get out of the faucet into the crapper and watching it slowly drain, plunging, more hot water, plunging... 45 minutes into this bullshit, it finally clears.

And, the sad part is, that isn't the first time (or last time) this scenario has occurred at my house. I eat plenty of fiber, but continue to crap cement logs.

Ha ha, that was fucking awesome!

[Mr.Shreddy]

newc, your story just made my day lol

[MartinBarre]

Newc?
WTF?

[Mr.Shreddy]

Newc?
WTF?

ok ok, this whole shit thread is really fucking good, but newc's 45 min. ordeal put it over the top. the "ratemypoo" really added flavor too

[Jason1212]

You guys need to eat more fiber. Then you will have goldie locks shit. Not too hard not too soft, but just right regardless of the amount.

[MakeAJazzNoiseHere]

Sometimes you just have to go in there and break it up with a fork.

:ROTF:

Is this a plastic fork?

Or a real fork?

Is the fork stored specially in the bathroom "just in case" or is it just a random fork from the kitchen which is then returned to "food shoving in mouth" service?

And I'm suprised no one else has said it...

[MartinBarre]

My wife goes for a shit and it actually FLOATS. She flushes it, I go in after her, and it's there floating on its own, all the paper gone, just a little tiny shit left there with no pals.


What the fuck's that all about?

[Spivonious]

Okay, looking at ratemypoo.com has made me not really want dinner.