Originally posted by Newc
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The rest of the Video Game world vs Dante:
Ryu Hayabusa (Ninja Gaiden) - this fight might end in a draw. Granted Hayabusa is a spirit more than flesh (as evidenced in the end of the first N.G. on Xbox), but Dante has that whole Devil Trigger/Spirit World connection going.
Alucard (Symphony of the Night) - Despite being Dracula's son, the fact that his name is Dracula spelled backwards is enough to seal his doom against Dante. I mean, you simply cannot out-style Dante with cheese like that, Vampire or not.
The Belmonts (Castlevania - Trevor, Richter, Simon, Alvin, Theodore, whatever) - Not a chance. Granted they've got Holy Power on their side, but frankly, Dante would make mince meat of them and feed them their own whips. Especially Simon's flamey one.
Bayonetta (not yet released) - Remains to be seen what all she's got, but the hair might give Dante trouble.
Cloud Strife (Final Fagasy) - No. Pretty-boys-who-look-more-like-titless-girls will die screaming like the little girls Squaresoft's designers wished they were.
Solid Snake (Metal Gear) - Again, you pit human against Dante, and Dante wins.
Anyone from Street Fighter - All dead. Even Akuma. And that little fag with the bombs. God I hate that guy.
Agent 47 (Hitman) - No contest. 47 might be a great assassin, but he's just a man. A genetically-engineered killing machine, but still a man, thus Dante wins.
Wolverine (X-Men Origins when he still had the Adamantium) - Another tough one, but once Wolverine's vital organs are exposed, he's toast.
Mario (Super Mario Brothers) - Dead. Italian. Plumber.
Link (Legend of Zelda) - Seriously?
Onimusha (Genma Onimusha - Xbox) - Nope. Granted he's got the Hayabusa thing going with the reincarnated spirit, but Dante's got the keys to both worlds.
James Bond - My hero. My dead hero. Would probably end up with his exploding cufflinks in his ears and his own nuts in his mouth. Shaken, not stirred.
Rygar - The yo-yo shield is a neat gimmick, but frankly he'd be both toast AND jam.
Frank West (Dead Rising) - C'mon, a freelance photographer? Granted he did beat Brock, an experienced Marine/Seal/Special Forces commando, as well as 50K+ zombies, AND still got the girl, but unless he's got a super-atomic camera flash that will roast Dante's flesh, ummmm, no. Zombies and Special Forces are stupid and slow, but not Dante.
Sam Fisher (Sphincter Smell) - Aging Special Ops guy in a neoprene suit vs a perpetually-young guy with the Devil's arm? Sorry, Sammy.
The entire Dead Or Alive cast at once - Dead in 5..4..3..2..1
The entire Tekken cast (all 6 games) - Yakuza might prove a problem since he's also got a Devil thing, but really, he'd be distracted by his dad, or Jun, and thus end up split in half.
Whatsisface from Half-Life - No tire tool/pipe-wrench-swinging science geek is gonna get very far against Dante.
Spider-Man - Gotta give Spidey the nod for the reflexes and Spidey-sense to anticipate attacks, but he's just a kid, so he's going down.
SuperMan - SuperMan wins. Period. He's indestructable. Though he is allergic to magic. Hmmmmmm....
Batman (Lego or otherwise) - The Dark Knight goes for The Dirt Nap. Christian Bale has to find a new gig.
50 Cent (Blood On The Sand) - I'd actually love to see this fight, if only to see the punkass bitch "gangsta" get schooled.
Altair (Assassin's Creed) - While he's a sneaky-snake, I really don't think he could take down Dante.
The soldiers from the Call Of Duty series - Only trouble for Dante would be from the ones being controlled by a guy with a controller in his hand. The computer-controlled asshats would just stand around getting shot, letting someone else do all the work.
Lara Croft - If she'd lift her shirt, she might have a chance. While Dante's busy catching wood, she could give him a knee-job, but she'd have to make a speech before she shot him in the head, and then fight with her own conscience over whether she should or not, by which time he would have cut off her head.
Darth Vader - Dark Lord Of The Sith. The Man with the Power of Voodoo. Pfft. It'd be a spectacular battle, but in the end, Dante would win. C'mon, he's the Devil's son AND he beat the Devil AND his own twin brother who got all the Evil Inside! Hell-o!!!??
So there you have it. Irrefutable evidence that Dante is the coolest character ever.
Ryu Hayabusa (Ninja Gaiden) - this fight might end in a draw. Granted Hayabusa is a spirit more than flesh (as evidenced in the end of the first N.G. on Xbox), but Dante has that whole Devil Trigger/Spirit World connection going.
Alucard (Symphony of the Night) - Despite being Dracula's son, the fact that his name is Dracula spelled backwards is enough to seal his doom against Dante. I mean, you simply cannot out-style Dante with cheese like that, Vampire or not.
The Belmonts (Castlevania - Trevor, Richter, Simon, Alvin, Theodore, whatever) - Not a chance. Granted they've got Holy Power on their side, but frankly, Dante would make mince meat of them and feed them their own whips. Especially Simon's flamey one.
Bayonetta (not yet released) - Remains to be seen what all she's got, but the hair might give Dante trouble.
Cloud Strife (Final Fagasy) - No. Pretty-boys-who-look-more-like-titless-girls will die screaming like the little girls Squaresoft's designers wished they were.
Solid Snake (Metal Gear) - Again, you pit human against Dante, and Dante wins.
Anyone from Street Fighter - All dead. Even Akuma. And that little fag with the bombs. God I hate that guy.
Agent 47 (Hitman) - No contest. 47 might be a great assassin, but he's just a man. A genetically-engineered killing machine, but still a man, thus Dante wins.
Wolverine (X-Men Origins when he still had the Adamantium) - Another tough one, but once Wolverine's vital organs are exposed, he's toast.
Mario (Super Mario Brothers) - Dead. Italian. Plumber.
Link (Legend of Zelda) - Seriously?
Onimusha (Genma Onimusha - Xbox) - Nope. Granted he's got the Hayabusa thing going with the reincarnated spirit, but Dante's got the keys to both worlds.
James Bond - My hero. My dead hero. Would probably end up with his exploding cufflinks in his ears and his own nuts in his mouth. Shaken, not stirred.
Rygar - The yo-yo shield is a neat gimmick, but frankly he'd be both toast AND jam.
Frank West (Dead Rising) - C'mon, a freelance photographer? Granted he did beat Brock, an experienced Marine/Seal/Special Forces commando, as well as 50K+ zombies, AND still got the girl, but unless he's got a super-atomic camera flash that will roast Dante's flesh, ummmm, no. Zombies and Special Forces are stupid and slow, but not Dante.
Sam Fisher (Sphincter Smell) - Aging Special Ops guy in a neoprene suit vs a perpetually-young guy with the Devil's arm? Sorry, Sammy.
The entire Dead Or Alive cast at once - Dead in 5..4..3..2..1
The entire Tekken cast (all 6 games) - Yakuza might prove a problem since he's also got a Devil thing, but really, he'd be distracted by his dad, or Jun, and thus end up split in half.
Whatsisface from Half-Life - No tire tool/pipe-wrench-swinging science geek is gonna get very far against Dante.
Spider-Man - Gotta give Spidey the nod for the reflexes and Spidey-sense to anticipate attacks, but he's just a kid, so he's going down.
SuperMan - SuperMan wins. Period. He's indestructable. Though he is allergic to magic. Hmmmmmm....
Batman (Lego or otherwise) - The Dark Knight goes for The Dirt Nap. Christian Bale has to find a new gig.
50 Cent (Blood On The Sand) - I'd actually love to see this fight, if only to see the punkass bitch "gangsta" get schooled.
Altair (Assassin's Creed) - While he's a sneaky-snake, I really don't think he could take down Dante.
The soldiers from the Call Of Duty series - Only trouble for Dante would be from the ones being controlled by a guy with a controller in his hand. The computer-controlled asshats would just stand around getting shot, letting someone else do all the work.
Lara Croft - If she'd lift her shirt, she might have a chance. While Dante's busy catching wood, she could give him a knee-job, but she'd have to make a speech before she shot him in the head, and then fight with her own conscience over whether she should or not, by which time he would have cut off her head.
Darth Vader - Dark Lord Of The Sith. The Man with the Power of Voodoo. Pfft. It'd be a spectacular battle, but in the end, Dante would win. C'mon, he's the Devil's son AND he beat the Devil AND his own twin brother who got all the Evil Inside! Hell-o!!!??
So there you have it. Irrefutable evidence that Dante is the coolest character ever.
Didn't mean to have this thread turn into Dante vs Everyone Else... let's just say they all live in different parallel universes But... carry on...
- Leo.
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