Time for the Big Trip Report 2008

[Endrik]

but it probably has the more mopeds than any other city in the world

[Hellbat]

Hey my mom is from Nottingham. It's sweet to know I could be part cro-mag.

[wilkinsi]

Nah, it's because you live in Nottingham and no one there can fucking read.

Do they also still point at planes?

No, but then I don't give a shit what other people in this county do.

[shobet]

No, but then I don't give a shit what other people in this county do.

Then why comment?

Plus if I was on about the county I would have appended 'shire' to the end of it. I'm not saying everyone from Nottingham'shire' (see what I did there?) is undereducated and somewhat backwards. I was intimating that it was people from a certain parts of the aforementioned county.

Have I lost you yet? Don't worry, just look up and point, all will be well...

[wilkinsi]

... because you asked me a question. As I said, I'm not aware people point at planes here. I am aware that a lot of people in Nottingham are dumbass chav's. But I would imagine you encounter pikey filth wherever you go. I speak to plenty of them on the phone. Next time a Sky customer says they've got "Insert your viewing card", I'll ask them to hold the card to the sky...!

[Rsmacker]

Wilksy-Baby, sweetness, nice try, but not quite good enough. Good to see you are trying though, rather than just falling back on calling people twunts or trolls. You should have said something along these lines:

"Next time a Sky Customer says they've got 'Insert Viewing Card', I'm going to bend over, spread my arse cheeks and tell them to insert something. The view is breathtaking"

And please refrain from using such racist slurs as "pikey filth" or I'll complain to the Moderation Team. The phrase you require is "thieving, workshy pikey scumfilth".

By the way, how's your Dad these days? Just asking.....

Things are changing in Nottingham though, the residents have realised that those annoying noisy metal dragon-fly things are actually quite a lot larger and higher up than they look and that witches ride in them. These witches summon the Rozzers, thus bringing the night's a-burgling to a premature end with a dumped Vauxhall Nova and a race with a police dog. Apparently they are not dragon flies, they are hell-ee-coptras or something, innit.

[Nazgul]

things are changing in nottingham though, the residents have realised that those annoying noisy metal dragon-fly things are actually quite a lot larger and higher up than they look and that witches ride in them. These witches summon the rozzers, thus bringing the night's a-burgling to a premature end with a dumped vauxhall nova and a race with a police dog. Apparently they are not dragon flies, they are hell-ee-coptras or something, innit.

[wilkinsi]

Nice try? I'm not trying anything. I live in a nice town a dozen miles outside of Nottingham. Rozzer? Innit? Stupid chav language. Blow it out your arse Rslicker. The only chav's we have here are kids who can't afford to go the local school and have obviously been influenced by the "towny massive innit" crap. They don't bother anyone, unless they want a good smack around the ear from the policeman.

[Rsmacker]

Nice try? I'm not trying anything. I live in a nice town a dozen miles outside of Nottingham. Rozzer? Innit? Stupid chav language.

I fear there are Americans reading this with a greater understanding of the word "irony". And Germans. Probably.

So is your local school one of those posh toffs' ones where buggery and sadism are rife? That explains a lot. Funny, I didn't think Hucknall had a Public School.

[wilkinsi]

Nowhere near Fucknall

[Endrik]

[Hellbat]

Topical and scathing at the same time.

[Rsmacker]

Awww, fucking hell, I forgot to mention something very important - the soundtrack.

Yes, the tracks I particularly enjoyed listening to and singing along at the top of my voice as I trundled along.

We have, in no particular order, and by no means an exhaustive list:

Van Halen - Panama.
Johnny Cash - Best of (Inc that covers LP he did not long before he croaked)
Metallica - Kill 'em All
WASP - Dirty Balls, Mean Man
Saxon - Crusader, Dallas 1PM
Vio-lence - Oppressing the Masses
UFO - The usual "Best of" type stuff, ie all the hits
Scorpions - As above
Judas Priest - As above, notably Desert Plains and Hell Bent for Leather. And Beyond the Realms etc. Suffice to say loadsa Priest.
Hardcore Superstar - My good reputation
Guns n Roses - Spaghetti Incident
Cro Mags - Age of Quarrel
White Devil - Reincarnation
ACDC - High Voltage
Buckcherry - Probably their whole back catalogue
Ozzy - As above.
Anti Nowhere League - Animal, Woman.

oh, and a load of cheesy "Peasants' Guide to Classical Music - The bits you know from adverts and that film you like".

You get the picture anyway.

It's a great memory, cruising through Italy, in the warm morning sun, very quiet wide roads winding through stunning scenery with majestic sweeping bends I can anticipate and judge for miles in advance, singing "Panama" at the top of my lungs until I'm hoarse. Fucking heaven.