Don't Feed the fucking Bears

[Rsmacker]

Not bears, but check out these pics of a moose that a friend sent me from the road to his cottage in Maine. For scale, he says that two cars can just squeeze past each other if they go off the edge a little. Absolutely huuuge!!

WTF? Does he live in the Valley of Gwangi? That thing looks massive, I thought they were about the size of a Shire Horse, and I have encountered the odd moose or 2 in my time (Saturday night, town centre, pub closing time). You could get a few steaks out of that bastard, I know.

I've heard that Moose/Elk are pretty dangerous to bikers (and drivers in general) because they just stand there in the road waiting to be hit. I can see now why that might be an issue.

[Rsmacker]

you two had a tiff?

No, it's Rag Week, his arse is dropping clots like tinned plum tomatoes.

[atomic charvel guy]

Go camping in Kamchatka. make sure you leave food lying around, and just for good measure , cut yourself so the smell of blood is out there too. This will get you some bear action in a flash.
Anthony hopkins in "The Edge"- "I'm gonna kill the motherfucker!!"

[Endrik]

good old Kamchatka, both my uncles were there during sea academy days and a couple of other friends, comrades Yogi and Boo Boo weren't too friendly over there.

[Horse Called War]

Me and the ex had a cabin in Red Feathers , Colorado. We went to the cabin drop off our supplies and went back into town to get a few things we had forgot. When we got back to the cabin, a bear had torn apart the cabin looking for food. There was a big paw print on the fridge , where it was trying to get in. The place looked like a fucking tornando had hit it.

[micha]

this elk looks reeeaally impressive dg... holy shit...
but also really beautiful in it's own huge, massive way. but I've heard the elks would be about the most dangerous animals to cross ways with when they have cubbies, a bad day or something...

[Shawn Lutz]

Elk will charge ya..dunno about moose but Elk will

[Rsmacker]

Me and the ex had a cabin in Red Feathers , Colorado. We went to the cabin drop off our supplies and went back into town to get a few things we had forgot. When we got back to the cabin, a bear had torn apart the cabin looking for food. There was a big paw print on the fridge , where it was trying to get in. The place looked like a fucking tornando had hit it.

Jeez, is that like a tornado, only worse?
Your Mrs, wasn't erm, "up on the blocks" was she, the reason you had to go back to town? (To get Scrabble, you weren't going to be doing any-fucking-thing else that weekend!) I have heard it attracts bears. And sharks. But then you don't get many sharks in Colorado, I imagine, no matter how interesting they find the smell.

I guess the moral of your story is "Sleep in the fridge". (You won't be able to read though, the light only works when the door is open)
How was the rest of your stay? Did you have "Help Help Here Come the Bears" running inside your head? Did you tool up with big guns and pepper spray or just rely on being able to run faster than your Mrs?

I knew a bloke once who went bear shooting armed only with a revolver. He was fucking nuts, just worked temp jobs till he could afford to go on his next safari, then he'd be off all round the world killing ferocious beasts with inappropriate weaponry. He was the spitting image (and size) of Bob Hoskins, even was a gobby Cockney. He drove round the wild county of erm, Warwickshire, with an elephant gun in the boot of his car, for some strange reason.
That was 20 years ago, not heard or seen him since, I fear the bears were quicker on the draw than him.

[Rsmacker]

Elk will charge ya..dunno about moose but Elk will

An Elk just moo's in a foreign accent. Or something.

[Reverend Timmy]

63+
My father used to hunt bear every year.The first time I went with him was to Utah,I was about 14 at the time.One of his friends at the camp used dogs to run them down,we used a dead cow hanging in a tree.The group with the dogs went out late in the afternoon and it soon became dark,dark enough to go ahead and stoke up the fire.So me and my dad and a couple other guys are around this fire,backs to the woods just havin a few and bullshitin.All of a sudden one of the guys jumped up and turned around screamin"What the hell is that?".One of the dogs had tied up with a bear and the bear had slashed him across the face and ripped out his eyes.Poor dog sniffed his way home and had stuck his cold nose on that guys back and scared the crap out of him.They chased that bear until they finally caught up with him around midnight.Sucker weighed 1100 pounds,big ol bear.We put the dog down,did'nt want to see him suffer.Long night...I got a few more bear stories,I'll post em later.........................

[wilkinsi]

Not bears, but check out these pics of a moose that a friend sent me from the road to his cottage in Maine. For scale, he says that two cars can just squeeze past each other if they go off the edge a little. Absolutely huuuge!!

You took a photo of Rslicker? Makes you wonder how he fit on that motorbike.

[Jacksonguy666]

I was with one of those gay camps when I was like 10 and we saw some bear cubs and eventually the mama bear (all up close!) , luckily nothing bad happened.

[Rsmacker]

You took a photo of Rslicker? Makes you wonder how he fit on that motorbike.

Because I'm a big horny bastard, obviously.
When I look at this moose, all I can think of is The Major smacking it on the head and calling it a naughty moose for attacking Mr Fawlty.

[Hellbat]

I was with one of those gay camps when I was like 10 and we saw some bear cubs and eventually the mama bear (all up close!) , luckily nothing bad happened.

Your parents sent you to a gay camp at 10? Thats kind of young to be trying to determine your sexual orientation.

[Jason1212]

Your parents sent you to a gay camp at 10? Thats kind of young to be trying to determine your sexual orientation.

Hey if it quacks it's probably a duck. Maybe he was always going on about drapes and shit so they just thought it was the right thing to do.